Confessing His Hand and Taking Joy in It

I believe it's important for us to recognize when God acts in our lives--even in small ways.  I'm really not so worried about God's anger, because of course I don't want to anger Him, but I can refer back to Doctrine and Covenants 59:21, which reads, "And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments."  Obedience--sure.  But then we should also be confessing or acknowledging His hand in "all things".

As I was sitting in a friend's ward in Montana this last Sunday, during the administration of the sacrament, I remembered an experience from many years ago.  I'll relate it here:

When my wife and I still lived in Logan, Utah, in a married student ward, I served for a time as the ward choir director.  I enjoy music and I think I was always happy to serve in this calling.  We had a pianist at the time who was very skilled, which was a pleasure.  For one occasion--just a regular sacrament meeting, with no special guests--I prepared to have the choir sing, "Come, O Thou King of Kings".  It was an arrangement like what I've often done with hymns, where we sing them as written in the hymnbook but selectively use some of the parts for some verses or parts of verses and then sing full harmony at other times.

I think I felt reasonably confident about the choir's impending performance as the time approached, but on the day of the performance something strange happened.  We were joined by several people I hadn't ever seen before.  They were roughly about 3-5 men and women I didn't know.  Any Church choir director tends to welcome additions to the choir--more often than not, we feel shorthanded--even if it's the day of the performance, and so I was happy to have people join us.  I assumed they were members of the ward that I didn't know.  I quickly indicated how we were singing the hymn, probably by giving copies of papers that showed the arrangement, and then the choir sang.  It was excellent, and powerful.  When a sister from the ward stood to speak immediately afterward, she began with a compliment to the choir, saying something to the effect of, "Wow; that was really good!"

I don't think I ever saw those people again.  Assuming that they were ward members, I figured I would see them around more, but I think I only ever saw them that one time.  Maybe they were in the ward but didn't attend frequently, maybe some of them were visitors, and maybe I just didn't pay attention to my ward well enough to know everyone who was there, but whoever they were, they were angels that day.  I don't know if someone attending that day needed extra inspiration or if there might have been some particular reason why a great song from the choir would have been needed.  Maybe it was simply a gift from God to brighten all of our lives, and to let us know that He was there and loved us.

Last thoughts for now:

As I reflected on the memory last Sunday, I remembered it with great joy, and I felt that it was simply important for me to recognize and appreciate God acting in my life.  I try to show gratitude to Him frequently in prayer, but I'm sure I still take some things for granted.  Perhaps it is strange to think of something out of the blue that happened almost two decades ago, but even so I believe it's important to recognize the good that God does for us, and to take joy in His love and gifts.

Why Jesus Christ is Important to Me

Why is Jesus Christ important to me?  A lot of that is stated in the scriptures I quoted, but I'll do more to phrase it in my own words:

Jesus Christ is my Savior.  I am His disciple through covenant.  I have sinned (like everyone) and of myself I am not worthy to return to my Father in Heaven, but through the power and grace of Jesus Christ I can be perfected in Him and receive all of the blessings that God the Father desires to give His children.  I owe Him everything.  He knows and loves me.  He loves me enough that He suffered for my sins and even died for me.  But He also lived for me and showed the way that I should live, not only to have peace in this life but also afterward, throughout eternity.  Of course I am not the only one He loves; He loves everyone I know and everyone I don't.  He has commanded me to love everyone, after loving God, and I take that commandment very seriously.  I'm grateful that my "loved ones" among my family and friends have salvation available to them also, and that the mercy of Christ is available to the entire world whom I am commanded to love.  Jesus Christ understands my pain in life.  I really don't expect many people on this Earth to have great understanding of the trials I've known, and I don't expect any mortal person to fully understand, but He does.  He knows the depth of my suffering, even when it has been foolishly self-inflicted, and He indeed knows much more suffering than I've ever known.  But He has lived through the lowest of the lows and in His greatest difficulties He still gave His will to the Father.  That is an example of no small importance to me.  In any moment of weakness or trial, I always know that I can submit to my Father's will as He did, and I know that They both want me to do so in order that I might be one with them and know their joy.  I don't expect to achieve that unity during my mortal life; I expect that full obedience to Christ's commandment to "be perfect" is only possible through Him and won't happen while I'm still subject to mortal weakness.  But I still strive to be like Him.  I invoke His name daily in prayer to my Heavenly Father, both individually and with my family.  I teach my family about Him.  While there are many ephemeral things in the world that I enjoy, I continually keep God's eternal Plan of Happiness in my mind, knowing that Jesus Christ is central to every part of that Plan, and no mortal pleasure could ever compare to what He provides me.  I know that at the day of my final judgment I will stand before Him and the Father, and that in His majesty I will have nothing to offer Him, and I will know my own unworthiness keenly, but I have faith that His Atonement not only gives me strength now but will be sufficient for me at that time.

Last thoughts for now:
I should add that I see the marvelous work of God being carried out in the modern Church of Jesus Christ.  It is an immense blessing to have this Church that exists to bring people closer to Him.

One Message for the Entire World

My wife has an embroidery machine and makes good use of it.  While I was attending graduate school for my Master's degree, I generally carried my computer with me in a briefcase-style black, fabric bag that had a flap at the top of one side that is roughly four inches wide.  At some point I determined that I wanted my wide to embroider a message on it; this message would be visible to everyone as I walked from place to place, as I sat doing homework, as I waited for the bus, as I sat on the bus, and essentially as I did anything else.

I had pondered something: If I had an opportunity to say one thing to anyone I met, or to the entire world all at once, what should I say?  This embroidered message would serve as well as any to communicate with the world, especially given that I would never have a chance to actually speak with many people who saw me (perhaps driving by in a vehicle or merely being part of a large group that I would have no reason to address verbally).  What message would be the most important?  In accordance with principles of good marketing (I assume, given that I'm not a true student of marketing), any message must be short to get and hold people's attention for the duration of the message.  In any event there was only so much space on the flap where the message was to be put.  So, I needed something that was, as the pithy expression goes, “short and sweet”.  And in a world where so many ideas are promoted and so many of them are misguided or simply false, I wanted my message to echo core a truth.

If the world is to know one thing, there are perhaps several candidates, including the knowledge that we are all children of God.  More specifically, we are children of an all-loving God.  His love is manifest the most in the existence of our Savior, Jesus Christ (see John 3:16).  As a follower of Jesus Christ, I have promised something: “...the second [great commandment] is ... Thou shalt love thy neighbour” (Matthew 22:39), and my “neighbor” is everyone else on the earth.

I want to be a good brother to God’s children and a good disciple of Christ, so, I chose my message and my wife placed it on the flap of my bag:

I love you.

I chose a simple, light-blue font that I hoped would be visible from quite a distance.  And I carried that message about, from day to day, visible to anyone and everyone.

The prospect of giving even one person such a potentially powerful and intimate message can be daunting, and surely, despite all of my best efforts, I do not always succeed in showing love as I ought to.  But as I carried my case and message, it struck me that I really was giving people a promise, and it was no small promise.  It’s easy to say, “I will love everyone,” when we’re in a small room occupied by only a few people we already like.  It’s easy to say, “I will love the entire world,” when we don’t have to and in any practical sense cannot demonstrate it.  It was something else to physically carry that message and promise to hundreds and thousands of people, most of whom I wouldn’t even be able to see or acknowledge, either at all or perhaps for only a few seconds in passing.

In giving anyone and everyone that message, I potentially exposed myself to ridicule, but a far greater concern to me was that anyone I saw could call me out on the promise.  Anyone could say, “Prove it!” and to be true to myself, to them, and to God, I would have to really act and speak in accordance with the words I was professing.  I was highly conscious of this.  I knew that if I were to say it, I would have to live it.  And I was willing, because it really is crucial for a disciple of Christ.

Realistically, I didn’t expect that “calling out” and proving to happen often.  In practice, only two people ever commented verbally to me about the message, and in both cases I was caught off guard and I failed to clarify that it was my message to the world, as opposed to my wife’s message to me.  In a funny sort of way, it wasn’t immediately easy to speak about.  I think that if I had the opportunity again, it would now be easier for me to say that yes, I love you, and even if I do so imperfectly I’m determined to do so truly.

While almost no one ever spoke to me about the message, I know that many people saw it.  I think that it brought a smile to some.  Perhaps it caused some people to ponder.  I have to assume that it was also offensive in a way to some, though I certainly couldn’t feel bad about that.  I wonder if, maybe, there might have been people who saw it who really needed to receive that message from someone.  Did I pass anyone who was feeling alone in the world, who felt less so for seeing me?  Was there anyone in the lower depths of despair, perhaps even suicidal, who rose a bit higher for knowing that at least one person out there loved them?  I don’t know.  I hope that my message was felt and helped people.

I later heard mention of a bus driver who had a habit of announcing over the P.A. system that, “Even if no one else loves you, I love you,” and I was both touched by the overtness and glad that I had chosen my message.

When I decided to leave a final message in my social media profile, I was able to make it longer, but I began and ended with a slightly longer version of those same words: I love you.

Last thoughts for now:

I love you.  I promise to show it.  I will fail in that promise at times, but I believe that there are few things more important that I can say or show, so I will do what I can to say it and show it.

Not “But”; Rather, “And”

People use and misuse the word “love” quite a bit, and there are a great many related thoughts.  It’s easily one of the most common themes in poetry and song.  Among those related thoughts are some related to homosexuality; some people are attracted to others of the same sex, and some people act physically according to those desires, and the word “love” is often used in conjunction with either.  Conversely, members of the restored Church of Jesus Christ are taught to show love to others but are also taught principles about sexual morality that do not align with common ideas about homosexuality.

Sometimes groups of people argue about it.  Some say, “If you love me, you must accept me as I am, and in turn, you must accept what I do,” even though they are actively promoting behavior and ideas that are contrary to God’s will.  In turn, I have many times heard or seen the statement that as disciples of Christ, we are to “love the sinner but hate the sin.”

That doesn’t always sit quite right with me.  In a sense, it’s true, and it’s essentially in accordance with what God has said in scripture, but hatred is seemingly opposed to what God is all about.  John (in John 4:8, 16) repeated a short but very strong statement: “God is love.”  (Emphasis added.)

If love is so central to godliness, ought we to use the theme of “love sinners but hate sin”?  Is there a better message to send, and one that is less able to be misinterpreted or twisted into a message of hatred?

Yes, there is.  President Dalling H. Oaks highlighted it in a general conference address in October 2019.  The better expression is simply this: Love God, and love everyone else.  Love God first and foremost.

These ideas were taught by the Savior Himself.  He was asked what the greatest (or most important) commandment was.  In Matthew 22:37–39, He answered, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

President Oaks cautioned that, “our zeal to keep this second commandment must not cause us to forget the first”.  Indeed, the Savior’s response was about a question of a single, greatest commandment, and He only somewhat incidentally chose to speak of the second.  President Oaks’ strong implication was that, although we may naturally feel love and affection for some people, it is more important for us to follow that first and greatest commandment than it is for us to do anything related to the second.  It is most important for us to show love for God by seeking to know and do His will.  As the Savior said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”  (John 14:15)

So rather than using the expression “love the sinner but hate the sin”, perhaps we should instead use one that has a clear focus on only love: “Love God, and then love everyone else.”

Last thoughts for now:

As I’ve said before, I can make no claim to love others perfectly, but I know that determining to show that love is an essential part of being a disciple of Christ.  I hope to live in such a way that demonstrates my love of God and others.  I hope for that love to grow and be real.

Infinite Love; Infinite Pain

Loving other people opens our hearts not only to joy but also to pain.  I think we all learn this lesson multiple times in life.  I’ve learned it when being rejected by a fiancée, when seeing people I care about turn away from the Church of Jesus Christ, when family members are insensitive or deliberately distant, when I’ve given something of myself or something else I value but the gift was rejected, and in many smaller cases.  Prophets feel this pain for the sorrow of the world.

Does infinite love mean being potentially infinitely hurt?  The Savior loves us and certainly has felt pain for us.  He felt infinite pain during His infinite Atonement for us; perhaps the depth of that pain was really possible because of His infinite love for us.

Last thoughts for now:

I don’t think I have particularly deep conclusions about this, but I think that as we grow in love, we also, in a sense, grow in our capacity to be hurt.  Yet, I think that as we grow in love and thus become more like God the Father and Jesus Christ, we also gain more of an eternal perspective that helps frame that pain in the context of eternity.  God wouldn’t have given us His plan if the joy wasn’t worth all the pain.  I expect to be hurt at times, but it’s okay.

My Own Story (a short version)

I often like to inquire with others about their beliefs and the foundation of their faith, if they profess any.  I find value in what they say.  I believe it helps open up mutually beneficial conversation.  I learn things from people, and I hope that they'll want to hear from me, because after being given so much from God I certainly have things to share.  The other day, someone in a video comments section asked me about my own experiences.  They didn't ask specifics, so I have to summarize a bit.  I doubt that anyone will ever want to read a full biography that would be drastically longer, but here's a short version of my history with my religious faith and knowledge:

I was born into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  My parents were divorced when I was three years old.  I was baptized at the standard age of eight years old.  As I grew up, I had many positive (if probably very typical) experiences with the Church, including study, friendship, and service opportunities.  Another part of being in the Church was commonly eating food from the Bishop's Storehouse that my mother didn't have to pay for.  When I got older and went off to college, I got a bit lazy when it came to religion.  For example, sometimes I just didn't go to church on Sundays, for no particular reason.  All young latter-day saint men were expected to serve as missionaries upon turning nineteen, but as I thought about it, I knew I didn't want to go just because other people expected me to.  So I went back to college for another year, and then began to serve.  I also began to want more of a relationship with my father, and at my request he supported me financially when I left to serve as a full-time missionary.

Both before and after my missionary service, at times I came across information about Church procedures or Church history, perhaps relating to individual leaders, that seemed strange.  Broadly speaking, I found a way to be patient with not completely understanding some things immediately.  One morning, when I was 18 or 19 and I was playing hymns on the piano in an empty classroom in the Institute of Religion at the college, some words in the second verse of "Be Still, My Soul" really struck me: "Be still, my soul, thy God doth undertake / To guide the future as He has the past. / Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake / All now mysterious shall be bright at last."  As the years have passed, I've had opportunities here and there to learn more or gain better insights from people who have shared them with me, and many things that felt mysterious or strange before turned out to not be worrisome at all.  When dealing with information from opponents of the Church, I also realized that, at least partially because they don't have the Church's best interests in mind, they sometimes promote information that is partially or wholly untrue, but even when only relying on reliable facts they frequently choose the worst possible conclusion from available data instead of the best possible conclusion.  I have found that while seeking truth and answers to questions, sometimes it comes quickly and sometimes not, but I always eventually learn more and I find great reason to trust what God has given me.

Trust in God is one of the great life lessons I learned as a missionary, but I also became much more able to recognize God's influence in my life, particularly through the Holy Ghost.  When at the missionary training center, our teachers (former missionaries themselves) taught us about how important it was to help people to recognize the Holy Ghost as we taught them.  I remember struggling with this; I wasn't sure that I knew how to do this.  I asked one of my teachers about it, and he suggested that because I had grown up with the Church, perhaps I was accustomed to it so much that I sometimes took it for granted.  He spoke to reassure me, and I wasn't fully satisfied, but I hoped to figure it out.  Several days later, as I was being taught again by a different teacher, I thought to myself, "The Spirit of God is very strong here today."  And then I realized what I had just done; I had listened to God in my heart and felt Him there, and recognized it.  As I did so, I realized that it was indeed something I had felt and known many times in my life.  I then gladly taught others about it and have enjoyed God's joy and peace not only during my mission but also many, many times since.

I will share one particular experience I had with the Holy Ghost during my mission.  I lived and taught in the city of Yamoussoukro for five months.  One day, while walking through a corridor of a housing area, I looked to the side and noticed one of the housing units and its number.  (I think it was 157 or 152, but it's been two decades ago and I don't have a great memory.)  That was all, at first; I just noticed it.  Some time later--maybe a few days or weeks--my companion and I had some time available in the evening, and he asked me what I thought we should do.  I mentioned the door I'd seen before and suggested that we could visit the people who lived there.  So we did.  Either that evening or upon making an appointment and returning (I don't remember which), we were greeted by the couple who lived there and we taught the first missionary lesson to them.  The husband was somehow employed by a local church and accommodated us more out of patient courtesy than anything else, and in the end didn't seem particularly interested.  I imagine that he later discouraged his wife; in any event, we didn't end up teaching them further and I don't know the end of her story.  But I do remember very well what happened during the lesson.  We spoke of God, of Jesus Christ, of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon, and then of the Holy Ghost.  After teaching, I turned to the woman and asked her (in French, the local national language), "What do you feel right now?"  She paused, with an almost troubled or slightly perplexed look on her face, and I asked her again, "What do you feel inside right now?"  With little more pause, she answered with these exact words: "La joie du cœur."  Translated into English, that means, "joy of heart."  Her husband looked directly at her with evident surprise.  I don't think she was even literate, but she knew what she felt inside.  I told her it was the Holy Ghost, and I knew that she knew that we had spoken truth from God.

One other major life lesson I learned as a missionary was that God is merciful.  I have long considered myself the most blessed person I know, and I realize that while I've tried to do good things in life, nothing I've done could merit the many blessings I've received.  I'm blessed far beyond what I feel I deserve by my own worthiness.

In the decades following my mission, I've had a great many other experiences that continue to shape my faith and knowledge.  I've seen other people grow in faith or abandon faith, I've seen people die, I've witnessed the Church as a worldwide body with the same spirit of fellowship and Spirit of God everywhere, I've had glimpses into Church administration, and I've learned more about Church history.  I have had very difficult trials that would require much more space to write about.  I've been blessed to know many disciples of Christ and many other good people across the United States and the world; I've been served by them and I've done what I could to serve them.  I've seen the Church help people with material needs, and I've been blessed to be able to give now instead of receiving.  I have had witness after witness from God about the truth of the gospel and his desire for me to participate in His Church, despite my many failings and the many failings I've witnessed in other people even as we try to follow our Savior.  I have hoped to be of service to the people around me and I've certainly hoped to show love in everything I do.  I think I'm learning that love better; it sure means a lot to me to learn it.  I am happy to extend an offer of support to anyone, and if you ever think I can help you in any way, whether to answer questions or even just as a listening ear.  If I were without you in person, I would offer a hug also, but alas, that's not possible over the Internet.  But I hope you know that I find myself with the best of reasons to follow the two great commandments, and though I can't express it as perfectly as God can, I am happy to say that I love you, and I hope that you seek and receive God's greatest blessings.

Last thoughts for now:
To anyone who ever cares enough to read these things, please know that I share them with the utmost sincerity and a real, if imperfect, desire to share truth and love.  Reach out to me any time, and as a disciple of Christ, I will reach back out to you.

An Anonymous Act of Sincere and Needed Love

 A long time ago--it must have been in the nineties--I remember seeing a video clip on a TV show that, as I have remembered it, strikes me as one of the most beautiful acts I've ever seen.  Beautiful in a way, that is; I have a hard time thinking of what the best descriptive word could be.  Good?  Loving?  I think it was just shown as part of some series that showed a lot of video clips that fit some sort of theme.  Here's what happened:

There had been a bad car accident, with a survivor stuck partly inside a car.  Perhaps there was more than one person involved, but if so, they were either killed or ejected or safe.  I believe the accident was bad enough that the "jaws of life" rescue tool had to be used to remove the person.  The video clip was very simple; it showed the man with probably only his head, shoulder, and one arm extending outside the vehicle.  The man was clearly in enormous pain and almost but not quite senseless--barely able to speak and mostly unable to move.  Because of the awkward angle he was in after the accident, the extended part of his body was also hanging very uncomfortably over the edge of the vehicle.  This was how he was found, to the best of my recollection.

But by the time a rescue team arrived with a video camera, someone else had already arrived to help in what way he could.  An unidentified second man, seeing the accident victim in great distress and pain, had positioned himself underneath the victim's extended body both to lift it slightly, relieving pain, and to provide the reassurance of close physical touch.  I mostly remember seeing that the victim was utterly defeated by the accident and totally at the mercy of the world--totally powerless and in great pain and desperately seeking relief.  And I remember seeing the other man's face; perhaps the best words I could use to describe his expression would be "concerned" and "intent".  He seemed to be able to feel the anguish of the victim, and he gave no indication of having any concern other than helping the man who was in need.  His presence, and possibly some few words, told the seriously injured man that he wasn't alone.

I suppose it touches me so much, even when poorly remembered after so many years, partly because physical contact means so much to me, but also because I love the idea that we serve and support each other, especially in times of dire need.

The TV show noted that the injured man was eventually freed, and that the mysterious "good Samaritan" disappeared without being identified.  And that strikes a deep chord within me also; I am always glad when I'm able to render a service in anonymity so that I know without any doubt that it was truly a selfless act, with no other reward.

I still remember it, decades after seeing it once on TV.

Last thoughts for now:
In a way, I hope to be that unidentified man for others in the future, many times, even if their distress is not so great as being severely injured and trapped.  I hope to be able to do good for others, and to do it anonymously when possible.  I hope to gain greater love through doing it, and to feel the joy of that love.  I'm grateful for the Church of Jesus Christ that gives me service opportunities.

Love, Charity, Truth

Mark 12:29-31 -- "And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is...thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength...And the second is...Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these."

John 13:34 -- "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another."

Moroni 7:47 -- "...charity is the pure love of Christ"
Moroni 7:46 -- "...if ye have not charity, ye are nothing"

I've heard it said more than once that despite the commandment we've been given to love everyone, it's not possible.  I think it was spoken with a sense of practicality by people who readily acknowledged that there were people they knew whom they definitely did not love.  I understand that, and I appreciate their candor, but what they said wasn't true.  The fact is that we can love everyone.  Maybe we can't all to do so all at once, without growing and exercising ourselves to gain that love, and sometimes there are people who are particularly difficult to love and who may have injured us seriously in some way.  But we have great examples of others, Jesus Christ being the foremost but many more mere mortals as well, who have shown great love to others who were the most difficult to love or the least deserving.

I try to love everyone.  I sure don't always succeed.  But I have felt that love for everyone before, and I try to keep it with me.  Interestingly, some of the times when I've most strongly felt the emotion of love for all were times when I was experiencing great trials.  Otherwise, when I feel the greatest love is when I am engaged in service toward them.  That service is a key component, and without taking the time for others I'm sure it would be impossible to gain or keep a love for them.

While service is essential, there are many good things which are not sufficient in and of themselves.  The words of 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 strike me particularly: "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing."

One way to serve others is by declaring truth in this world so full of falsehood and deception.  If we love those around us, we'll want the best for them.  We'll want to speak the truth to enlighten them, if we happen to have light to share.  (And we'll want to gain that light so that we can share it.)  However, we run a certain risk.  When we speak to what is true or right we either explicitly or implicitly speak to what is false or wrong.  In doing so, some will feel as if we're condemning ("judging") them.  Perhaps it's a rare thing these days for people to speak the truth while still genuinely loving those who don't seem to live by it, but I don't think that's the real problem.  I think instead the real problem is the underlying but widely prevalent message that to disagree with someone's actions or lifestyle is to hate them.  Love is preached to be synonymous with complete acceptance of not only the basic person but of everything they do.

The real challenge for me is to live in such a way that people know I love them.  When the situation arises in which they could interpret my words as either condemnation or encouragement, they won't just see me as a "sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal."  They will know that I really do want what is best for them and that I still love them even with their incorrect choices, just as I hope others will still love me despite my choices that either are wrong or seem wrong to them.

Last thoughts for now:
I know that some people will never feel the love I have for them even when I'm doing my very best to have that love.  I know that I haven't overcome selfishness and have certainly not achieved perfect charity in my heart.  But I know that it is right and good that I should have that love.  I know that I need to keep that love as a constant goal in my life and that without it, nothing else matters.  I hope that I can teach it to my children and encourage it in all those around me.  Charity is greater than hope, but I'll keep hope in a world that knows real charity.

He Maketh His Sun to Rise

I've said before that the most instructive part of my life is being a parent.  As I try to be a good father, I gain insight on my Heavenly Father, which is important because I'm trying to emulate Him and His Son.

I give a fair amount of thought to how I (and we, including my wife) want to do things.  We have certain rules in the house, of course, and I take a certain attitude toward my kids in which I try to treat them with the same intelligence and respect that I would show to anyone else.  I try to grant my children responsibility for their actions so that they can learn from them.  I try to avoid coercing them.  I try to encourage talking when there's a problem.  I aim to encourage good behavior and not encourage bad behavior.  My wife and I do pretty well with it.  Granted, I'm unfortunately lazy sometimes and with my imperfections I make a host of mistakes, but I have some practices that I've thought through and I want to keep.

I want my children to understand consequences because I want them to know why they should make good choices.  Perhaps, though, imposed consequences are not always the best idea.  Recently I again adjusted my outlook on parenting with the thought that there are going to be certain things that I do for my kids regardless of what they do beforehand.  For example, I want to read to my kids before they go to bed, observe their night-time prayers, and sing to them as they lie down.  Sometimes I've deprived them of the experience because it was late, they took too long getting ready for bed, because their room was messy, or a combination of those reasons.  Really, though, I don't want to deprive them (or myself) of those things.

The thought is mirrored in a scriptural passage that has long been one of my favorites.  In 3 Nephi 12:44-45 (and similarly in Matthew 5:44-45) Jesus is teaching about love and how we can be more like our Father in Heaven: "But behold I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father who is in heaven; for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good."

I suppose that's what we call unconditional love.  From what I'm told, that's the kind of love we're supposed to show to our family (and everybody else, too).

Last thoughts for now:
There are still going to be circumstances in my parenting when conditions apply and the kids will miss out on something good because they failed to meet a prerequisite.  I want to show them true love,  though, so that they really know that I love them.  I want them to know that if they "turn away, or disobey, or go astray" ("Teacher, Do You Love Me?" -- Children's Songbook, page 178) I will still love them and be ready to help them just like my Father in Heaven is always there for me no matter how often I make dumb mistakes.  I need to show them that love.  So at bedtime I will make my song to sing for both the kids who are behaving well and the kids who aren't, just as God "maketh His sun to rise".

Acting in Faith

I've tried to be supportive of those around me who are dealing with trials. Before the priesthood session of General Conference began, I tried to seek out two friends because I was concerned about them.

One was already planning to go to the priesthood session. I wanted to ensure that his family had watched the earlier sessions (they had watched part; I encouraged them to watch the rest later because I felt it would be very good for them in particular). I hope that as I showed up on my friend's doorstep he knew that I was visiting him out of love, concern, and hope.

The other probably didn't realize that it was Conference Weekend until I found him, the second time I drove to his house. With some encouragement, he showered, dressed and accompanied me to the church to watch the priesthood session. I was humbly pleased to have helped him, and I'm certain that I found him at home on my second visit in answer to my prayers.

I have two thoughts about faith in action as it relates to these friends:

First, in both cases I don't know how much my actions helped, either in the short term or particularly in the long term. I don't know if my friends felt grateful to or annoyed by me. So many times in the past I've been left to wonder how much good I've actually done as I've made efforts to help and encourage people to follow our Savior. Maybe this is how things often are; maybe people only rarely see concrete results of their efforts to help God's children receive their exaltation. Regardless of what it's like for others, I usually don't know what good I've actually done. I try to keep my faith, doing my besy to figure out what is right to do in any given case even if I'm never fully sure that it was the best course of action.

Second, at the very least I know I made myself available. I'm convinced that people frequently deny themselves the opportunity to joyously act as the hands of God in others' lives simply because they are distracted and busy. There are countless ways to turn our attention away from the Holy Ghost, but as we put these distractions out of our lives we will find that we are needed elsewhere to care for our brothers and sisters.

I hope that I truly have been of service to my two friends, and I hope also that I may find confirmation that I've been of use to them.

Last thoughts for now:
I think that faith is acting even when I'm uncertain that I can do something truly useful. I rely on it. I know that it's only when I free myself of distractions that the Holy Ghost can guide me and that I can truly act in faith. I thank my God for allowing me to serve my brothers and sisters here.

Incorrect Teachings Among the Saints

There have been times in my past where I missed the mark a bit when trying to help others to be righteous. I think it has tended to be when I was reaching beyond the scope of my stewardship, and that I was being overzealous. There have been other times when I have heard others share incorrect of skewed doctrines. It feels a bit strange when this happens; if we're listening to the Holy Ghost, He tells us very clearly that something isn't right, just as He testifies to us when we hear and speak truth.

It can be uncomfortable though when someone misses the mark, particularly when we know that the person is genuinely trying to be a true disciple of Christ. However, in simple terms this is really just another mistake, of which we make many.

We read in 3 Nephi 1:24 that after Christ was born, some Nephites attempted "to prove by the scriptures that it was no more expedient to observe the law of Moses." Note that they were using the scriptures; that much is to their credit. As we read further in the same verse and also verse 25, "Now in this thing they did err, having not understood the scriptures. But it came to pass that they soon became converted, and were convinced of the error which they were in...therefore in this same year were they brought to a knowledge of their error and did confess their faults." Put simply, they misunderstood something, tried to teach something false, and were corrected.

Having made and witnessed mistakes, I have gained a desire to not repeat them. In this case, I try to be careful to only state truth when state something as if it were truth. When I state something about which I'm uncertain, I say as much. Sometimes it's a very good thing to share good ideas that are unverifiable, as long as it's clear that the ideas are not purported to be verified doctrine.

When people do teach something incorrect, it's important to simply love them and help them, just like in any other circumstance. Here, that means correcting them with as little awkwardness or embarrassment as possible.

Last thoughts for now:
Truth is a joy to those who seek to be righteous. We all make mistakes sometimes. We can all learn and get past those mistakes, and we can all help others to do the same.