Confessing His Hand and Taking Joy in It

I believe it's important for us to recognize when God acts in our lives--even in small ways.  I'm really not so worried about God's anger, because of course I don't want to anger Him, but I can refer back to Doctrine and Covenants 59:21, which reads, "And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments."  Obedience--sure.  But then we should also be confessing or acknowledging His hand in "all things".

As I was sitting in a friend's ward in Montana this last Sunday, during the administration of the sacrament, I remembered an experience from many years ago.  I'll relate it here:

When my wife and I still lived in Logan, Utah, in a married student ward, I served for a time as the ward choir director.  I enjoy music and I think I was always happy to serve in this calling.  We had a pianist at the time who was very skilled, which was a pleasure.  For one occasion--just a regular sacrament meeting, with no special guests--I prepared to have the choir sing, "Come, O Thou King of Kings".  It was an arrangement like what I've often done with hymns, where we sing them as written in the hymnbook but selectively use some of the parts for some verses or parts of verses and then sing full harmony at other times.

I think I felt reasonably confident about the choir's impending performance as the time approached, but on the day of the performance something strange happened.  We were joined by several people I hadn't ever seen before.  They were roughly about 3-5 men and women I didn't know.  Any Church choir director tends to welcome additions to the choir--more often than not, we feel shorthanded--even if it's the day of the performance, and so I was happy to have people join us.  I assumed they were members of the ward that I didn't know.  I quickly indicated how we were singing the hymn, probably by giving copies of papers that showed the arrangement, and then the choir sang.  It was excellent, and powerful.  When a sister from the ward stood to speak immediately afterward, she began with a compliment to the choir, saying something to the effect of, "Wow; that was really good!"

I don't think I ever saw those people again.  Assuming that they were ward members, I figured I would see them around more, but I think I only ever saw them that one time.  Maybe they were in the ward but didn't attend frequently, maybe some of them were visitors, and maybe I just didn't pay attention to my ward well enough to know everyone who was there, but whoever they were, they were angels that day.  I don't know if someone attending that day needed extra inspiration or if there might have been some particular reason why a great song from the choir would have been needed.  Maybe it was simply a gift from God to brighten all of our lives, and to let us know that He was there and loved us.

Last thoughts for now:

As I reflected on the memory last Sunday, I remembered it with great joy, and I felt that it was simply important for me to recognize and appreciate God acting in my life.  I try to show gratitude to Him frequently in prayer, but I'm sure I still take some things for granted.  Perhaps it is strange to think of something out of the blue that happened almost two decades ago, but even so I believe it's important to recognize the good that God does for us, and to take joy in His love and gifts.

With Angel Eyes (Fiction)

The following is pure speculative fiction.  I wrote it a while back and figured it would be good to put here, even though the format is entirely different from my normal blog writing.  I don't claim to have had any experience with this sort of thing, but the narrative illustrates some ideas that make sense to me.

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With Angel Eyes

Mason watched people moving to and fro, performing everyday tasks while oblivious to his presence and also to the presence of Grant and the other, more distant disembodied spirits.  “I always assumed that it was like this, but it’s unsettling to realize it, to think back on the many things I did that…well, that I wouldn’t have done if I’d realized how many people could see.”

Grant nodded.  “Of course, whether or not someone can see what we’re doing shouldn’t be our motivation to eschew evil and pursue righteous goals.  It’s actually better for us that we aren’t aware of those who observe our mortal experiences, because it allows us to choose righteousness for the sake of righteousness, or for the sake of our acknowledgement of the Atonement of Christ.  So, the physical limitation, our inability to see things with spiritual eyes, actually helps.

“However, remember that those who can observe you don’t want to revel in your unrighteous choices.  So, while our unrighteous actions are still observable, they are generally less observed.  That same limitation that you’ve been used to also has largely hidden something about your own nature.  Look at these people.  Do you see that some shine brighter than others?”

Mason looked at the people everywhere, and for the first time he paid attention to the way that they glowed.  Indeed, some glowed brightly, while others were dim.  “Yes…why is that?”

“I’m sure you can tell me if you think about it.”

“Well, I always understood that when we were judged, we would have more glory if we were more righteous.”

Grant nodded again, smiling.  “Exactly.  So why would we not also have more glory and brightness before our final judgment?  And let me ask you this: where does the light come from?”

Mason had to think for a moment; Grant let him.  Mason finally replied: “From God.  We shine with the light from God.”

“Right again.  Inasmuch as we allow ourselves to reflect the light of truth from God’s Spirit, His light shines forth from us.  It’s always like that, though to mortal eyes it’s often quite hard to discern.  If you think back, though, I’m sure you can remember times when, for no reason that was evident, someone looked different, brighter in some way, and you could tell that he or she was a faithful disciple of Christ.”

Mason looked again at the people, going about their business in the simple ways he had done so often himself.  “Yes, I do remember times like that.  In fact, after a certain lesson from a seminary teacher I had really hoped to give other people the same impression, or rather, just to shine so that they would want to follow Jesus Christ.”

“Good!  That’s the right idea.”

Mason looked at his own spirit-matter hand.  “I’m relieved to see some light in myself.”

“Surely.  And you can take it as a good sign that you’re here associating with someone else who also bears the light of truth.  But we were speaking, before, about others observing our actions.  Like I said, while our unrighteous acts are observable, they are generally less observed.  When we engage in unrighteous behavior, we inherently shield ourselves from the influence of the Holy Ghost, thus reducing the light around us.”

“So when we’re bad we can’t be seen?”

“No, no, it takes a lot of evil to completely block out the influence of God in our lives, and even then we’re still visible, but it’s more a matter of focus.  Those of us who are observing are naturally inclined to observe those who are shining brightly and turn our attention easily away from darkness.  As a person’s light dims because of wickedness, only their personal angels stay with them to help.  When you sin more seriously and the truth becomes dim around you, only those who really are concerned stay near and watch over you.”

Mason became uncomfortable again.  “So for my bigger mistakes, people were probably still watching.  Maybe someone like my grandpa?”

“Perhaps.”

“I hate that.  I hate knowing that someone else knows what I’ve done.  When it was wrong, I mean.”

“Of course.  Shame is natural and can be very helpful.  Don’t worry about other people knowing, though; it’s better for key individuals to know now than to have your sins proclaimed from the rooftops to the whole world later, and the people who watch over you from above are those who really love you anyway.  They forgive you and still have faith in you.”

Mason lowered his head.  “If I knew, I mean really knew, how things were, I know I wouldn’t have done some of the dumb things that I did.”

“Ah, naturally.  But if we had a full knowledge from the beginning, it wouldn’t be a test, would it?  We wouldn’t really be able to learn and grow.”

“I guess I feel like it would be helpful to have this kind of perspective in order to do the learning.”

“I can see why you’d think so, but if you take a bit of time to observe people you’ll find that simply being told a truth isn’t enough to make it powerful in our lives.  In fact, depending on our dispositions, we can very easily blind ourselves to things that ought to be obvious.  Too much information all at once isn’t helpful either, and while you have some extra perspective here, you’re faced with different limitations.  Consider, for example, sacrifice.  Though it’s an incredibly important principle of the Gospel, it’s quite difficult to practice here.  How do you expect to learn the benefit of fasting and giving of your substance to others, when you don’t have much in the way of substance?  There’s really not much that you can learn here that you can’t learn in a mortal experience, and there, you can actually learn most things more fully than you can here.”

They were both silent for a moment before Grant spoke again.  “Come with me.  I’d like to show you something.”

Grant took his hand and began walking, and Mason felt that they were moving very quickly.  When they were still again, Mason found himself in a place he didn’t recognize.  It was a bustling city.

“Look around,” Grant said, “and tell me who those two people are.”

It didn’t take Mason long at all to identify the two people of whom Grant was speaking, for while the crowd of people all around generally only dimly reflected the light of the Holy Ghost, these two particular souls, well-dressed young men shone with a radiance.  Mason figured that there was a natural explanation for this—two young men, walking together and casting light before them.  “Missionaries,” he said.  “They’ve got to be missionaries.”

“They are indeed.”  Grant acknowledged.  “When it comes to light and shining truth, they’re some of the most satisfying to watch.  When the people they teach listen to the Holy Ghost, the light from the missionaries shines out and brightens them as well.  There are other ways by which a given person’s light quickly increases, but the teaching of missionaries is one of the better ways.”

Mason lifted his head and peered toward them.  “Are we going to see that today?”

“These two are pretty reliable, so I wouldn’t be surprised.”

They observed quietly for a brief while, and it gave Mason time to think.  One idea gently nagged him, though he was reluctant to speak it.  “Grant, you said that people don’t get as much attention from angelic observers when they sin,” (and Grant nodded encouragingly,) “but at other times, you do, ah, give people their privacy, right?  Like newlyweds?”

Grant laughed.  “Yes, of course.  Just as we can quickly turn our attention away from the darkness of sin, we are selective about other things as well.  Sacred events are universally considered to by ‘by invitation only’, and something as immeasurably sacred as the physical intimacy of a husband and wife is no one’s business but their own.  It’s quite instinctive to find another place to be, and surprisingly easy to sense when they no longer require privacy.  We’re neither curious about it nor carnal, so it’s not a concern.”

Mason looked down and raised his eyebrows.  “Huh.  Good.  Well, I’d expect things to make sense like that, but I’m glad to hear it.”

Grant still wore a mild smile.  “Though, to bring perspective, those of us that no longer have bodies also don’t get embarrassed like we used to.”

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