My Own Story (a short version)

I often like to inquire with others about their beliefs and the foundation of their faith, if they profess any.  I find value in what they say.  I believe it helps open up mutually beneficial conversation.  I learn things from people, and I hope that they'll want to hear from me, because after being given so much from God I certainly have things to share.  The other day, someone in a video comments section asked me about my own experiences.  They didn't ask specifics, so I have to summarize a bit.  I doubt that anyone will ever want to read a full biography that would be drastically longer, but here's a short version of my history with my religious faith and knowledge:

I was born into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  My parents were divorced when I was three years old.  I was baptized at the standard age of eight years old.  As I grew up, I had many positive (if probably very typical) experiences with the Church, including study, friendship, and service opportunities.  Another part of being in the Church was commonly eating food from the Bishop's Storehouse that my mother didn't have to pay for.  When I got older and went off to college, I got a bit lazy when it came to religion.  For example, sometimes I just didn't go to church on Sundays, for no particular reason.  All young latter-day saint men were expected to serve as missionaries upon turning nineteen, but as I thought about it, I knew I didn't want to go just because other people expected me to.  So I went back to college for another year, and then began to serve.  I also began to want more of a relationship with my father, and at my request he supported me financially when I left to serve as a full-time missionary.

Both before and after my missionary service, at times I came across information about Church procedures or Church history, perhaps relating to individual leaders, that seemed strange.  Broadly speaking, I found a way to be patient with not completely understanding some things immediately.  One morning, when I was 18 or 19 and I was playing hymns on the piano in an empty classroom in the Institute of Religion at the college, some words in the second verse of "Be Still, My Soul" really struck me: "Be still, my soul, thy God doth undertake / To guide the future as He has the past. / Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake / All now mysterious shall be bright at last."  As the years have passed, I've had opportunities here and there to learn more or gain better insights from people who have shared them with me, and many things that felt mysterious or strange before turned out to not be worrisome at all.  When dealing with information from opponents of the Church, I also realized that, at least partially because they don't have the Church's best interests in mind, they sometimes promote information that is partially or wholly untrue, but even when only relying on reliable facts they frequently choose the worst possible conclusion from available data instead of the best possible conclusion.  I have found that while seeking truth and answers to questions, sometimes it comes quickly and sometimes not, but I always eventually learn more and I find great reason to trust what God has given me.

Trust in God is one of the great life lessons I learned as a missionary, but I also became much more able to recognize God's influence in my life, particularly through the Holy Ghost.  When at the missionary training center, our teachers (former missionaries themselves) taught us about how important it was to help people to recognize the Holy Ghost as we taught them.  I remember struggling with this; I wasn't sure that I knew how to do this.  I asked one of my teachers about it, and he suggested that because I had grown up with the Church, perhaps I was accustomed to it so much that I sometimes took it for granted.  He spoke to reassure me, and I wasn't fully satisfied, but I hoped to figure it out.  Several days later, as I was being taught again by a different teacher, I thought to myself, "The Spirit of God is very strong here today."  And then I realized what I had just done; I had listened to God in my heart and felt Him there, and recognized it.  As I did so, I realized that it was indeed something I had felt and known many times in my life.  I then gladly taught others about it and have enjoyed God's joy and peace not only during my mission but also many, many times since.

I will share one particular experience I had with the Holy Ghost during my mission.  I lived and taught in the city of Yamoussoukro for five months.  One day, while walking through a corridor of a housing area, I looked to the side and noticed one of the housing units and its number.  (I think it was 157 or 152, but it's been two decades ago and I don't have a great memory.)  That was all, at first; I just noticed it.  Some time later--maybe a few days or weeks--my companion and I had some time available in the evening, and he asked me what I thought we should do.  I mentioned the door I'd seen before and suggested that we could visit the people who lived there.  So we did.  Either that evening or upon making an appointment and returning (I don't remember which), we were greeted by the couple who lived there and we taught the first missionary lesson to them.  The husband was somehow employed by a local church and accommodated us more out of patient courtesy than anything else, and in the end didn't seem particularly interested.  I imagine that he later discouraged his wife; in any event, we didn't end up teaching them further and I don't know the end of her story.  But I do remember very well what happened during the lesson.  We spoke of God, of Jesus Christ, of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon, and then of the Holy Ghost.  After teaching, I turned to the woman and asked her (in French, the local national language), "What do you feel right now?"  She paused, with an almost troubled or slightly perplexed look on her face, and I asked her again, "What do you feel inside right now?"  With little more pause, she answered with these exact words: "La joie du cœur."  Translated into English, that means, "joy of heart."  Her husband looked directly at her with evident surprise.  I don't think she was even literate, but she knew what she felt inside.  I told her it was the Holy Ghost, and I knew that she knew that we had spoken truth from God.

One other major life lesson I learned as a missionary was that God is merciful.  I have long considered myself the most blessed person I know, and I realize that while I've tried to do good things in life, nothing I've done could merit the many blessings I've received.  I'm blessed far beyond what I feel I deserve by my own worthiness.

In the decades following my mission, I've had a great many other experiences that continue to shape my faith and knowledge.  I've seen other people grow in faith or abandon faith, I've seen people die, I've witnessed the Church as a worldwide body with the same spirit of fellowship and Spirit of God everywhere, I've had glimpses into Church administration, and I've learned more about Church history.  I have had very difficult trials that would require much more space to write about.  I've been blessed to know many disciples of Christ and many other good people across the United States and the world; I've been served by them and I've done what I could to serve them.  I've seen the Church help people with material needs, and I've been blessed to be able to give now instead of receiving.  I have had witness after witness from God about the truth of the gospel and his desire for me to participate in His Church, despite my many failings and the many failings I've witnessed in other people even as we try to follow our Savior.  I have hoped to be of service to the people around me and I've certainly hoped to show love in everything I do.  I think I'm learning that love better; it sure means a lot to me to learn it.  I am happy to extend an offer of support to anyone, and if you ever think I can help you in any way, whether to answer questions or even just as a listening ear.  If I were without you in person, I would offer a hug also, but alas, that's not possible over the Internet.  But I hope you know that I find myself with the best of reasons to follow the two great commandments, and though I can't express it as perfectly as God can, I am happy to say that I love you, and I hope that you seek and receive God's greatest blessings.

Last thoughts for now:
To anyone who ever cares enough to read these things, please know that I share them with the utmost sincerity and a real, if imperfect, desire to share truth and love.  Reach out to me any time, and as a disciple of Christ, I will reach back out to you.

The Sacrament and the Gospel

While the sacrament is being administered to us, I generally whisper to one of my children (whichever is closest to me at the time) to ask them about the meaning of the sacrament and explain as necessary.  It makes for a lot of repetition, but I really want them to understand the importance and meaning of the covenant.  They know that when they're eight years old they'll be baptized, and then they'll start taking the sacrament each week also.  (Right now they don't; I don't want them to be taking the bread and water out of habit only, but rather to meaningfully renew covenants as they eat and drink.)

On another topic:

When we used to teach people about the Gospel of Jesus Christ as missionaries, and as I've taught and been taught many times since, some central ideas about the Atonement of Jesus Christ are that He overcame two major obstacles for us: physical death ("the grave") and spiritual death("hell").  Because of the Fall we are mortal and subject to physical death, at which time our spirits will lose the marvelous bodies that God has given us.  Also, with our moral agency we are free to choose our actions, and we all will make choices that separate us from God (and thus causing spiritual death).  Jesus suffered for our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane, suffering such pain that He bled from the pores of His skin.  He then died and was later resurrected.

Perhaps the connection is already obvious in stating this much.  In any case, here's what my whispered conversation with my kids tends to sound like:

Daddy: "Why do we take the sacrament?"

Child: (waits)

Daddy: "We take the sacrament to renew our covenants.  We make promises to Heavenly Father when we're baptized.  We covenant to be like Jesus, to take His name upon us, and to obey the commandments.  What does the bread remind us of?"

Child: "Jesus' body."

Daddy: "Yes.  Because Jesus died, and his body went in a tomb for three days.  What happened then?"

Child: "He was resurrected."

Daddy: "That's right, and because He was resurrected, we all will be, too."

As the water is being administered:

Daddy: "What does the water remind us of?"

Child: "Jesus' blood."

Daddy: "Yes, because Jesus paid for our sins and it hurt Him so much that he bled.  Because He paid for our sins, we can all repent and live with our Heavenly Father again."

I don't think I've ever heard anyone teach that the sacrament is directly related to Jesus' resurrection and His experience in the Garden of Gethsemane, but it makes sense to me that way.

Last thoughts for now:
I want my kids to be ready for baptism.  I want them to have a testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  Just as elements of teachings in the temple are symbolic, the bread and water definitely are also.  Jesus is the bread of life and the water of life, He died and was resurrected so that we will be too, and He atoned for our sins so that we can repent and be forgiven.  All of us.

The Few That Are Chosen

There are several ways of making a particular distinction; that is, several different appellations: an elect people, a chosen people, a peculiar people.

Doesn't it seem strange to consider some people as "special"?  In principle, God loves us all, right?  And he's no respecter of persons?  Of course.  (Acts 10:34, Doctrine and Covenants 1:35, 38:16)  Then why and more importantly how are certain peoples distinguished in the eyes of the Lord?

I was reading to my children just now before they went to bed.  Because it's Sunday, we were reading from the scripture story picture books produced by the Church.  We read the story of the Jaredites.  Something struck me as interesting, especially in the abbreviated form.  While the Jaredites started out as a righteous people (or at least they were following a very righteous man--the brother of Jared), after they reach the promised land the next thing that happens is this: they become wicked.  Very wicked.  Wicked to the point of being destroyed (by themselves, in this case, but destroyed all the same).

This isn't really surprising, because there is already precedent.  Those of us with extended hindsight can see the same occurrence happening throughout scripture.  The first instance was with Adam and Eve, two of the most trusted of Heavenly Father's spirit children: a bulk of their children became so wicked that they merited destruction by flood.  Another easily remembered example comes from the people of Isreal after the Exodus.  They looked to a prophet for deliverance, trusted him enough to follow him out of Egypt, and received help from God in the form of many wonders, but then committed such abhorrent sins that they had to wander in the wilderness until that generation had died (40 years).

Another example is that of Lehi's family, though in their case it's more clear that the actions of a few people early on had a significant bad influence on their progeny.  In general, however, we see simply that civilizations often have a trend of becoming wicked even if they have the best starting conditions.  I know of only one exception; the city of Enoch was so righteous (a true Zion) that it was taken into heaven (see Moses 7:23).  Even the Nephites, after having had the wicked sifted out from among them through disaster and having received a visit from the resurrected Christ Himself, only maintained their righteousness for a couple of centuries.

Why does this happen?  Because we are granted the ability to exercise our own moral agency, and to maintain the standards of Zion requires full dedication, which most are not willing to give.  God knows that, given our agency, we will use it in different ways, and we're all going to use it poorly at times.  Individuals, families, and nations will often turn to wickedness.  I suppose that God could at a given moment get a report showing what percent of His children, after their final judgment, merited each kingdom; either way, He knows that some will inherit celestial glory, some will inherit terrestrial glory, some will inherit telestial glory, and some will inherit no glory at all.

While God knows we will sin, He has planned for us to succeed.  The key is that we have been provided with a Savior who has atoned for us all:
  "O how great the holiness‍ of our God! For he knoweth all‍ things, and there is not anything save he knows it.
  And he cometh into the world that he may save‍ all men if they will hearken unto his voice; for behold, he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains‍ of every living creature, both men, women, and children, who belong to the family of Adam.
  And he suffereth this that the resurrection might pass upon all men, that all might stand before him at the great and judgment day.
  And he commandeth all men that they must repent, and be baptized‍ in his name, having perfect faith‍ in the Holy One of Israel, or they cannot be saved in the kingdom of God.
  And if they will not repent and believe in his name, and be baptized in his name, and endure‍ to the end, they must be damned; for the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, has spoken it." (2 Nephi 9:20-24)

How do we receive the grace of our Savior?  By making and keeping covenants.  Without them, human nature will lead us to error (or, put differently, "the natural man is an enemy to God"--Mosiah 3:19).  That's the distinguishing factor, and therein lies the "why" of the distinction as not just the "chosen people" or the "elect" but also as the "covenant people" of the Lord.  We are distinguished in that we are supposed to make a demonstrated willful act to show that we will follow the will of God through His plan.  Sure, we are still imperfect after making covenants; some of us will make mistakes and repent, and others will even fail to repent and lose their reward.  Thus, among the covenant people of God there can still be and sometimes are great problems, and we are ever in need of prophets and other leaders to guide, inspire, and encourage us.  But in each case of an "elect" people they have made covenants.  Even in the passage above we see a necessary covenant: baptism.  It is through baptism that we become the covenant people of the Lord, or, in other words, latter-day saints.

Last thoughts for now:
Making and keeping covenants is how we become the chosen people of God as members of His Church, and He has given us these covenants in order to allow us to be sanctified and justified and thus to fulfill His plan.  That's the "why"; that's why some are "chosen" despite the fact that we all invariably misuse our agency to some degree.  The beauty of it (and this is real beauty) is that "he cometh into the world that he may save‍ all men if they will hearken unto his voice".  We all can receive the greatest blessings of God if we are willing, and if we take care to keep our hearts set on the kingdom of God.  It is my goal to have such willingness in my heart.  It is my goal to encourage others to do the same.

Exact Words

Some members of the Church have a certain tradition or habit that really isn't necessary, and that I consequently avoid.  When blessing a baby and giving him or her a name, I often hear the wording like this: "and to give him a name by which he will be known on the records of the Church."  It's simply not dictated by any Church book of instructions.  It doesn't hurt, but I don't want to confuse things that are necessary and things that aren't, so I never use those words.  And I hope that people notice it and realize that they don't need to use them either.  That way we can focus on the traditions and elements of ordinances which are truly important and necessary.

Much of the time, priesthood ordinances do not use exact wording.  Any holder of the Melchizedek Priesthood, when reading the instructions for ordinances, will find key elements but rarely exact words.

But sometimes exact wording is important.  Temple ordinances, for example, use exact wording.  One thing I wonder is, other than the fact that the words have been prescribed for us, are the exact words absolutely necessary?  Perhaps not, and we know that temple ordinances have changed at times, but there are good reasons for using specific words.  A major reason is that there is much to learn from what is said during those ordinances.

Outside of the temple, I can think of two occasions when exact wording is dictated by scripture (in Doctrine and Covenants Section 20 and also in the book of Moroni): during a baptism, and when we renew our baptismal covenants with the sacrament.  Why do we use exact words then?  Is it because those exact words are necessary for the ordinance?  It seems clear that such is not the case when we review the wording used by Alma as he baptized Helam and others: "Helam, I baptize thee, having authority from the Almighty God, as a testimony that ye have entered into a covenant to serve him until you are dead as to the mortal body; and may the Spirit of the Lord be poured out upon you; and may he grant unto you eternal life, through the redemption of Christ, whom he has prepared from the foundation of the world."

I think along with the advantage of learning from specific wording comes the advantage of not having to think through it on the spot--we don't have to figure out what to say every week during the sacrament.  What seems to be the most important reason to me, however, is that by using the same words every time we don't distract ourselves from the ordinance itself.  Too often during regular prayers, the speaker turns to flowery and profuse speech.  If the person performing the baptism or blessing the sacrament wanted to "make it good", they could easily get lost in language that didn't really add to the ordinance at all.  Some people would even be tempted to praise the speaker, again being distracted from the ordinance itself.  The exact wording provides simplicity and focus when that is exactly what is needed as we make and renew covenants with God.

Last thoughts for now:
Making and keeping covenants with our Heavenly Father will bring us back to live with Him.  Sometimes, exactness and precision is required so that we can be most fully blessed.  I want to be precise when such precision is warranted, to keep learning throughout my life, and to stay focused on the simplicity of essential ordinances and covenants.

Only One Destination in the Plan

Most people within the Church are familiar with diagrams of the Plan of Salvation. As I've prepared my next lesson for the teachers in my ward (I'm the Teacher's Quorum Advisor), I've noticed that the diagram in the lesson manual is slightly different from the diagrams I've often seen in the past. It looks something like this:

Pre-earth life ---Birth---> Earth life ---Death---> Spirit World ---Resurrection and Judgement---> Celestial Kingdom

Usually I've seen this diagram with three kingdoms at the end. It strikes me, however, that these young men need to understand that there is only one kingdom for them. That goes for all of us. Yes, other kingdoms have been prepared, because in a practical sense, there will be plenty of people who will need such kingdoms in which to spend eternity, but that's not what we're here for.

If we have been sealed to our spouse in the temple, there is only one goal in sight: exaltation. Even if we have been endowed in the temple, there is only one goal in sight, which we will achieve after being sealed: exaltation. For the men, if we have received the priesthood, there is only one goal in sight. Even just having been baptized in the true Church, we have only one goal. Beyond that, I would think that even just having taken an early step by coming to earth, there's only one reason we should have done it and only one destination that is good enough for us, though the making of covenants is the key action I want to emphasize. The reason we make all of these covenants is so that we may progress toward and arrive in the Celestial Kingdom.

Back to the teachers to whom I'll give the lesson: if they're not planning on going to the Celestial Kingdom, there's no reason for them to be at church in the first place. It's the reason why we go to church.

Sometimes young folks are unsure of themselves, though. They feel that "I'm not good enough for the Celestial Kingdom." To be honest, older folks also aren't exempt from that uncertainty. However, no one should sell themselves short in envisioning their potential. Frankly, when they say th're not good enough, they're right; none of us are. That's why Christ atoned for our sins, and he did so for all of us, so that all of us have the ability to be exalted.

Last thoughts for now:
There's only one destination with which I'm concerned. The knowledge of the Plan of Happiness, including the Atonement of Jesus Christ, should guide me in everything I do, so that I may reach that destination. I'm going to the Celestial Kingdom.

They Shouldn't Have Been Baptized

I've been a full-time missionary before, so I know how it feels. We set goals, we worked with people, we knew the truth of the Gospel and the Church and we wanted good things for others. Thus, we wanted people to be baptized. We taught them and invited them to be baptized, and they accepted and were baptized. Between those last two steps, there's an interview. The purpose of the interview is to ensure that the person is ready to make this vital covenant. Some people shouldn't make it past this interview but somehow slip through.

Maybe that doesn't sound like a problem to some people. Some missionaries don't see any baptisms during their entire mission, and even those who do still want to see more. Is it a bad thing if some people are baptized when they're not ready?

Absolutely.

In Moroni 7:39, Mormon makes it clear that some people should not be in the Church. "But behold, my beloved brethren, I judge better things of you, for I judge that ye have faith in Christ because of your meekness; for if ye have not faith in him then ye are not fit to be numbered among the people of his church."

That's not to say that the Gospel isn't right and true for everyone, because it is. It doesn't mean that Jesus didn't die for everyone or that God doesn't love everyone, because They did and do. But people should not join the Church until they have sufficient faith in Christ and have made changes in their lives.

Mormon himself addressed this issue in the previous chapter (Moroni 6:1-3):
"And now I speak concerning baptism. Behold, elders, priests, and teachers were baptized; and they were not baptized save they brought forth fruit meet that they were worthy of it.
Neither did they receive any unto baptism save they came forth with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, and witnessed unto the church that they truly repented of all their sins.
And none were received unto baptism save they took upon them the name of Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end."

I've seen it too many times. Maybe it's because a missionary wants to get one more baptism before he leaves, or maybe it's just general over-zealousness. People get baptized without truly having received a testimony from God of Jesus Christ, the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Without that testimony, they don't have much reason to stay around. Sometimes they don't even last long enough to be confirmed.

Making and keeping covenants is the key to progressing toward eternal life. It's a tragedy for people to make serious covenants like baptism but not understand what they're doing. It's a tragedy for people to make serious covenants like baptism and then turn away from the truth.

Does that mean that kids shouldn't be baptized when they're eight years old? No. It means that parents need to teach their children well so that they'll be ready.

I don't think anyone fully understands how important their baptismal covenants are when they get baptized, but it is vital that we make covenants of our own free will, with knowledge of what we're doing, and with a real knowledge. When that isn't the case for some people, they're doing it for the wrong reasons and it hurts them.

Last thoughts for now:
The Gospel is for everyone. Baptism is for everyone. The Holy Ghost is for everyone. Temple ordinances are for everyone. The Atonement of Jesus Christ and covenants are for everyone, but we have to make ourselves ready.

Not Just an Emotional Response

I've heard it said before (from someone who claimed to be a former member of the Church and a former bishop) that what we call the Holy Ghost is nothing more than an emotional response.

NOT SO!!

Yes, the Holy Ghost does produce a fruit that inspires emotion (see Galatians 5:22), but to feel these emotions and to truly know the Spirit of God are two different things. What great joy the Spirit brings, but even when emotions don't run strong, what a wonderful thing it is to recognize the presence of the Holy Ghost!

Of course, the only way to know the Holy Ghost is to listen to God's word and obey it. As we hear the "whisperings of the Spirit" and disregard them, they become quieter to us, but as we truly listen to them and follow them it becomes easier for us to do the same in the future.

I know that I need the Holy Ghost to guide me. I rely on the Spirit to guide me and give me the "tongue of angels" (2 Nephi 31:14, 32:2-3, 33:1) as I speak to others. I know that I have spoken words that were inspired at the very moment. One of the most interesting things to me is when I'm inspired to not say something, either because the listener wasn't ready or perhaps because what I was going to say was wrong.

I think many people don't realize that, having been baptized and confirmed, they can speak with the tongue of angels. It's a wonderful gift that we truly need in order to serve God.

Last thoughts for now:
The Holy Ghost is real. It is my responsibility to obey the charge given to me when I was confirmed and "receive the Holy Ghost." The Spirit of God testifies of truth, teaches us, comforts us, and guides us. And, as a bonus, it will often bring the best of emotional responses.

Paradise and Prison

I've never been certain about the barrier between Spirit Prison and Paradise. Is it two different locations, with an actual barrier or separation that keeps those who have not accepted the Gospel from those who have? Or is it just a distinction between two states of being? We certainly live in heaven or hell right now depending on what kind of people we are.

I tend to think it's probably an actual separation. When Christ was in the Sprirt World for three days, He only visited the righteous, that is, those who had truly accepted Him. But a commonly held perception of Hell combined with a distinct feature of temples gives me cause to wonder.

Many people with Christian backgrounds are told that "Hell" is a fiery, hot place, and that "Heaven" is in the clouds. The Church makes specific efforts to build temples such that fonts for proxy baptisms are located underground. Theory: the barrier between Paradise and Prison is the surface of the earth. The core of the earth is molten; anywhere under the surface is obviously dark. I think it would suffice as a place to let people suffer the pains of their own sins. When baptisms and confirmations are perfomed for the dead, the spirits would pass through the barrier in temples.

The bridging of the barrier also occurred simultaneously with the rupturing of the earth's surface (see 3 Nephi 8:18).

One might say that the classic version of "Hell" is of no importance, and I would say they're probably right. However, bits of truth, like pieces of a shattered mirror, can be found all over. Take Masonic symbols, for example.

One might also say that the location of temple baptismal fonts is just symbolic, and maybe it is. That's a lot of work for the sake of a single symbol, though, particularly when baptism already carries a lot of symbolism anyway. What symbolic meaning is really added?

Last thoughts for now:
I don't know of any prophetic statement that directly adresses this topic. It remains uncertain to me.