Repenting Early Instead of Regretting Later

A poignant line from John Greenleaf Whittier's poem "Maud Muller" reads: "Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'"  What Whittier describes is a fictional account of a judge who loses a potential love for a young woman, because she is of low social status, and both he and the woman throughout their lives remember the other and regret "what might have been".  While the account is fictional, the fact is that we all have only one life to live and as time passes we may well wish that we had made choices differently.

Yesterday, I saw a bit of TV footage of a former celebrity being taken in handcuffs by police officers after receiving a prison sentence for crimes he committed many, many years ago.  The man had been well-known and well-loved almost universally by society for many years, but now he has lost most people's love and respect.  Granted, my basic assumption is that the justice system worked properly and he’s getting a legal punishment that is deserved--I don't doubt that--but it still strikes me as tragic.  Fame and the loss of it is of minor consequence, but what is happening to him personally is something else.  I couldn’t see his face all that well, but he didn’t seem happy or strong.  The man is old, and if anything, the feeling that seemed apparent in his face and his movement was only a recognition of something horrible and an inability to do anything about it.

I imagine that at some point in the past he probably felt guilty about what he’d done, and I think everyone that does wrong either fully repents or finds a way to keep living despite being guilty, whether they feel guilty or not.  That second possibility can be a very bad thing, in that if people find a way to move on without setting things right (as much as is possible), that in itself can prevent them from ever setting things right and restoring the parts of their soul that are damaged.  I can’t help but think that this old man has a very different outlook on life and his own actions, compared to the way he did decades ago, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he felt like it would have been much better to have had this justice attended to much earlier in his life.  I imagine that he has no desire to hurt anyone now, but regardless, he has to deal with the consequences of his actions and I’m sure he regrets all of this happening at this point in his life (for one reason or another).

I could be wrong about his thoughts; whether or not he really feels any of that, I can’t be sure.  But, I am sure that everyone who doesn’t repent will feel that same kind of regret, though when applied to an eternal judgment I think that feeling will be deeper.  At the same time, I think it will be balanced by a sense of God’s perfect justice.  I imagine that understanding God’s justice cannot be a complete comfort to people, but I think it will in some way balance the regret (the foundations of which will be immutable).  That balance isn't something to hope for, though; I would hope that we would be able to approach our final judgment in a different way, because of how we act following our own wrongdoing.  All of the guilt and regret that we feel early in life will be valuable if it leads us to correct our wrongs.

Last thoughts for now:
What might yet be is that we might be able to gain all that our Heavenly Father has, including the greatest joy possible.  We all will commit sin, but we all have an opportunity to right our wrongs.  Thankfully, during this mortal life it's never too late, but with every day that we let slip by without repenting, we are less likely to choose repentance.  May we all show gratitude for Christ's Atonement by examining our lives and determining to set right those things that we have done wrong, and may we find joy and peace in doing so.

He Maketh His Sun to Rise

I've said before that the most instructive part of my life is being a parent.  As I try to be a good father, I gain insight on my Heavenly Father, which is important because I'm trying to emulate Him and His Son.

I give a fair amount of thought to how I (and we, including my wife) want to do things.  We have certain rules in the house, of course, and I take a certain attitude toward my kids in which I try to treat them with the same intelligence and respect that I would show to anyone else.  I try to grant my children responsibility for their actions so that they can learn from them.  I try to avoid coercing them.  I try to encourage talking when there's a problem.  I aim to encourage good behavior and not encourage bad behavior.  My wife and I do pretty well with it.  Granted, I'm unfortunately lazy sometimes and with my imperfections I make a host of mistakes, but I have some practices that I've thought through and I want to keep.

I want my children to understand consequences because I want them to know why they should make good choices.  Perhaps, though, imposed consequences are not always the best idea.  Recently I again adjusted my outlook on parenting with the thought that there are going to be certain things that I do for my kids regardless of what they do beforehand.  For example, I want to read to my kids before they go to bed, observe their night-time prayers, and sing to them as they lie down.  Sometimes I've deprived them of the experience because it was late, they took too long getting ready for bed, because their room was messy, or a combination of those reasons.  Really, though, I don't want to deprive them (or myself) of those things.

The thought is mirrored in a scriptural passage that has long been one of my favorites.  In 3 Nephi 12:44-45 (and similarly in Matthew 5:44-45) Jesus is teaching about love and how we can be more like our Father in Heaven: "But behold I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father who is in heaven; for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good."

I suppose that's what we call unconditional love.  From what I'm told, that's the kind of love we're supposed to show to our family (and everybody else, too).

Last thoughts for now:
There are still going to be circumstances in my parenting when conditions apply and the kids will miss out on something good because they failed to meet a prerequisite.  I want to show them true love,  though, so that they really know that I love them.  I want them to know that if they "turn away, or disobey, or go astray" ("Teacher, Do You Love Me?" -- Children's Songbook, page 178) I will still love them and be ready to help them just like my Father in Heaven is always there for me no matter how often I make dumb mistakes.  I need to show them that love.  So at bedtime I will make my song to sing for both the kids who are behaving well and the kids who aren't, just as God "maketh His sun to rise".

The Most Important Consequences

Twice in the last week, I've had religious conversations with another soldier while at work. In each case I thought to bring to light a certain point. It begins with a question:

What are the most important consequences of our actions?

It should be obvious that the effects and influence of what we do extends into a great many areas. If we steal a pack of gum, if we beat and rob someone, if we shovel a neighbor's snowy sidewalk, or if we donate money and time to a worthy cause, there are always obvious direct and immediate consequences to the world around us; however, the most important consequences are what our actions do to us. Whenever we act, we become better or worse. At every moment of every day we thrive, fester, or just stagnate.

That doesn't mean that every moment has to be fast paced. We can wear ourselves out quickly if we try. (I'm not in danger of that myself, though; personally, I need to be more fast-paced sometimes.)

Despite all we may do to better ourselves spiritually, what really makes exaltation possible? The Atonement of Jesus Christ. Without Him, we would have no hope.

I don't think I can say much more at this point than Elder Oaks has said in his talk "The Challenge to Become". Here are the audio and text (see Saturday Afternoon Session): http://lds.org/conference/sessions/display/0,5239,23-1-138,00.html

Last thoughts for now:
I have yet to fully understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ and what it does for me, how it helps me to become like God. All the same, I know that there is no time when I can sin without consequence and impact on my eternity. I hope I can remind myself of my unceasing obligation to act righteously.