A "Testimony", or Faith and Knowledge?

I think that members of the Church of Jesus Christ sometimes use the word "testimony" in a way that is less helpful than we think.  We talk about a "testimony" as if it's a thing we carry around with us.  In scripture, I don't think I've ever found that kind of usage.  Rather, what we refer to as a "testimony" is known simply as either faith or knowledge.

What is a testimony?  It is the act of testifying--of speaking or otherwise sharing what we know through personal experience.  This is the meaning both in law and in scripture.  Rather than being a thing to be possessed, it is an action.

When someone gives you a reprimand, do you "have a reprimand"?  When God gives us a testimony of some truth, what we have as a result is greater faith and knowledge.

Rather than saying, "I have a testimony of X," when we say, "I know X", the very action of saying such a thing is our testimony.  Rather than stating that someone's "testimony" isn't as strong as it used to be, is it not much more direct to say that their faith is less strong than it was?  If they're not sharing their faith and knowledge with others, at least intermittently, then by definition, it isn't a testimony.

I don't think the saints' common usage is evil, but I do think it is harder for people to understand, whether they're outside or inside the Church.  Though it may sound paradoxical to suggest, it's better for us to refer to a testimony as what is given, rather than something that is possessed.

Here's what scripture tells us: Peter encouraged us to "grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."  (2 Peter 3:18)  In a revelation given through Joseph Smith, we were similarly told, "ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth." (Doctrine and Covenants 50:40)  Helaman related that "the Lamanites began to grow exceedingly in the knowledge of their God".  (Helaman 6:34)  King Benjamin said that as we remember God's greatness and humble ourselves before Him, "ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true."  (Mosiah 4:12)  In Alma 32, Alma used a great parable to teach that as we nourish the word of God in ourselves, as it grows, out faith will increase and become knowledge.

According to Alma, sometimes our faith, in some respects, becomes "dormant" as we gain knowledge.  But even as our knowledge increases, we must continue to increase in faith, because faith includes action; through faith we demonstrate that knowledge of truth really means something in our lives.

I don't mean to be too condemning; the common usage of "testimony" as a noun that suggests something that can be possessed appears even in the current temple recommend interview questions.  But I do think there's a better way to express truth.

Last thoughts for now:

I hope that my testimony to others is powerful; that is to say, I hope that I am able to testify powerfully through the power of the Holy Ghost, who will testify with me as I speak truth.  I also hope that my faith and knowledge will continue to grow, year by year.  I hope that when I speak of any of that, those around me will understand with clarity.

My Own Story (a short version)

I often like to inquire with others about their beliefs and the foundation of their faith, if they profess any.  I find value in what they say.  I believe it helps open up mutually beneficial conversation.  I learn things from people, and I hope that they'll want to hear from me, because after being given so much from God I certainly have things to share.  The other day, someone in a video comments section asked me about my own experiences.  They didn't ask specifics, so I have to summarize a bit.  I doubt that anyone will ever want to read a full biography that would be drastically longer, but here's a short version of my history with my religious faith and knowledge:

I was born into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  My parents were divorced when I was three years old.  I was baptized at the standard age of eight years old.  As I grew up, I had many positive (if probably very typical) experiences with the Church, including study, friendship, and service opportunities.  Another part of being in the Church was commonly eating food from the Bishop's Storehouse that my mother didn't have to pay for.  When I got older and went off to college, I got a bit lazy when it came to religion.  For example, sometimes I just didn't go to church on Sundays, for no particular reason.  All young latter-day saint men were expected to serve as missionaries upon turning nineteen, but as I thought about it, I knew I didn't want to go just because other people expected me to.  So I went back to college for another year, and then began to serve.  I also began to want more of a relationship with my father, and at my request he supported me financially when I left to serve as a full-time missionary.

Both before and after my missionary service, at times I came across information about Church procedures or Church history, perhaps relating to individual leaders, that seemed strange.  Broadly speaking, I found a way to be patient with not completely understanding some things immediately.  One morning, when I was 18 or 19 and I was playing hymns on the piano in an empty classroom in the Institute of Religion at the college, some words in the second verse of "Be Still, My Soul" really struck me: "Be still, my soul, thy God doth undertake / To guide the future as He has the past. / Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake / All now mysterious shall be bright at last."  As the years have passed, I've had opportunities here and there to learn more or gain better insights from people who have shared them with me, and many things that felt mysterious or strange before turned out to not be worrisome at all.  When dealing with information from opponents of the Church, I also realized that, at least partially because they don't have the Church's best interests in mind, they sometimes promote information that is partially or wholly untrue, but even when only relying on reliable facts they frequently choose the worst possible conclusion from available data instead of the best possible conclusion.  I have found that while seeking truth and answers to questions, sometimes it comes quickly and sometimes not, but I always eventually learn more and I find great reason to trust what God has given me.

Trust in God is one of the great life lessons I learned as a missionary, but I also became much more able to recognize God's influence in my life, particularly through the Holy Ghost.  When at the missionary training center, our teachers (former missionaries themselves) taught us about how important it was to help people to recognize the Holy Ghost as we taught them.  I remember struggling with this; I wasn't sure that I knew how to do this.  I asked one of my teachers about it, and he suggested that because I had grown up with the Church, perhaps I was accustomed to it so much that I sometimes took it for granted.  He spoke to reassure me, and I wasn't fully satisfied, but I hoped to figure it out.  Several days later, as I was being taught again by a different teacher, I thought to myself, "The Spirit of God is very strong here today."  And then I realized what I had just done; I had listened to God in my heart and felt Him there, and recognized it.  As I did so, I realized that it was indeed something I had felt and known many times in my life.  I then gladly taught others about it and have enjoyed God's joy and peace not only during my mission but also many, many times since.

I will share one particular experience I had with the Holy Ghost during my mission.  I lived and taught in the city of Yamoussoukro for five months.  One day, while walking through a corridor of a housing area, I looked to the side and noticed one of the housing units and its number.  (I think it was 157 or 152, but it's been two decades ago and I don't have a great memory.)  That was all, at first; I just noticed it.  Some time later--maybe a few days or weeks--my companion and I had some time available in the evening, and he asked me what I thought we should do.  I mentioned the door I'd seen before and suggested that we could visit the people who lived there.  So we did.  Either that evening or upon making an appointment and returning (I don't remember which), we were greeted by the couple who lived there and we taught the first missionary lesson to them.  The husband was somehow employed by a local church and accommodated us more out of patient courtesy than anything else, and in the end didn't seem particularly interested.  I imagine that he later discouraged his wife; in any event, we didn't end up teaching them further and I don't know the end of her story.  But I do remember very well what happened during the lesson.  We spoke of God, of Jesus Christ, of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon, and then of the Holy Ghost.  After teaching, I turned to the woman and asked her (in French, the local national language), "What do you feel right now?"  She paused, with an almost troubled or slightly perplexed look on her face, and I asked her again, "What do you feel inside right now?"  With little more pause, she answered with these exact words: "La joie du cœur."  Translated into English, that means, "joy of heart."  Her husband looked directly at her with evident surprise.  I don't think she was even literate, but she knew what she felt inside.  I told her it was the Holy Ghost, and I knew that she knew that we had spoken truth from God.

One other major life lesson I learned as a missionary was that God is merciful.  I have long considered myself the most blessed person I know, and I realize that while I've tried to do good things in life, nothing I've done could merit the many blessings I've received.  I'm blessed far beyond what I feel I deserve by my own worthiness.

In the decades following my mission, I've had a great many other experiences that continue to shape my faith and knowledge.  I've seen other people grow in faith or abandon faith, I've seen people die, I've witnessed the Church as a worldwide body with the same spirit of fellowship and Spirit of God everywhere, I've had glimpses into Church administration, and I've learned more about Church history.  I have had very difficult trials that would require much more space to write about.  I've been blessed to know many disciples of Christ and many other good people across the United States and the world; I've been served by them and I've done what I could to serve them.  I've seen the Church help people with material needs, and I've been blessed to be able to give now instead of receiving.  I have had witness after witness from God about the truth of the gospel and his desire for me to participate in His Church, despite my many failings and the many failings I've witnessed in other people even as we try to follow our Savior.  I have hoped to be of service to the people around me and I've certainly hoped to show love in everything I do.  I think I'm learning that love better; it sure means a lot to me to learn it.  I am happy to extend an offer of support to anyone, and if you ever think I can help you in any way, whether to answer questions or even just as a listening ear.  If I were without you in person, I would offer a hug also, but alas, that's not possible over the Internet.  But I hope you know that I find myself with the best of reasons to follow the two great commandments, and though I can't express it as perfectly as God can, I am happy to say that I love you, and I hope that you seek and receive God's greatest blessings.

Last thoughts for now:
To anyone who ever cares enough to read these things, please know that I share them with the utmost sincerity and a real, if imperfect, desire to share truth and love.  Reach out to me any time, and as a disciple of Christ, I will reach back out to you.

Practical Preparedness - So Evidently Helpful

Well over a decade ago (in December 2008!) I wrote here about practical preparedness.  At the time, the idea of great need striking huge chunk's of the population felt more hypothetical--something that we expected to see in the future, and perhaps the distant future.

In the last year, we've seen it quite a bit.  Just under a year ago, a global pandemic changed life for essentially everyone in the world.  It was fairly striking to see some of the grocery store shelves empty, such as those for things like canned goods and flour.  Certain high-demand items were rationed to a degree, with limits on purchases, including milk, eggs, and especially--of all things--toilet paper.

We've lived through several other moments with similar circumstances.  A country in a distant part of the world recently experienced a coup, causing great economic difficulty.  I saw a headline tonight about millions of people in Texas lacking drinking water somehow because of a recent heavy snowstorm.

But some of us are well-prepared for difficult times.  A local elders quorum president commented today about being comfortable if water became unavailable because he has 100 gallons stored in his home.

I've never felt any need to justify my actions to others when I'm following prophetic guidance.  But it is good when I am able to experience the blessing of faith turning to knowledge; it is perhaps comforting in a way to see the evidence that would readily justify the words of living prophets.

Last thoughts for now:
I'm grateful for the counsel of prophets in the Church of Jesus Christ.  I know that following them will always lead to greater peace.  I know that doing so brings very practical blessings.

The Mighty Man Shall be Humbled

It's been depicted, in film and otherwise, that a person who displays pride and strength is shown to be submissive to a mother or perhaps father (often to comical effect).  It's striking in a way, because these people are regarded as people of great presence, and as people who are pursuing a course deemed justifiable by many or perhaps even all, but then they are made very humble due to a natural relationship that existed before they ever came to have strength or influence.  The mothers or fathers knew them from when they were at their most weak and dependent point in their lives; beyond simply not being fooled by the image the sons or daughters present, they are also in a position of trust from which they can dispense humbling advice and correction.

Yet there are many in the world who decide to put themselves beyond this kind of vulnerability.  They are submissive to no one, and can be humbled by no one--not even parents.  Often enough they commit acts of great evil while in pursuit of some sort of worldly greatness.

It seems a fairly simple matter, to me, for people to convince themselves of something.  Especially given that we, in general, don't like to be wrong, it's really very common for us to cling all the more fiercely to ideas when they are threatened.  I'm reminded of the end of the Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis.  I hope to not make this a book spoiler.  At the end, a number of characters have effectively passed on to the next life, including a group of dwarves.  While others see beautiful countryside around them, the dwarves see only the filthy inside of a stable.  Some, including Aslan himself, want the dwarves to see things as they really are, but Aslan explains that they cannot be convinced.  The basic scenario, while tragic, is not hard to believe.

I wonder, though, how long such obstinacy can last.  It is written many times in scripture that "every knee shall bow" to God and that "every tongue shall confess" that Jesus is the Christ (Romans 14:11, Isaiah 45:23, Doctrine and Covenants 76:110, Mosiah 27:31, Doctrine and Covenants 88:104, Philippians 2:10-11).  It is also written that "the mighty man shall be humbled, and the eyes of the lofty shall be humbled" (Isaiah 5:15).  I get the idea that no matter how prideful a person may be, no amount of pride and obstinacy will endure forever.  Eventually God will give us his perspective on our lives, and we'll see how unimportant some of our supposedly great achievements were, and how terrible our evil acts were that we thought so little of.  Eventually we'll have to hear His words that we cannot dispute, and we'll know that they come from someone who is both perfectly wise and loving.  We will have no reason to do anything but trust those words.  "When our heavenly parents we meet" (Hymn 286, Oh, What Songs of the Heart) we'll know again that we are still children to Them.

Of course, having faced the truth, it always still remains for us to not only accept it but also to act upon it.  Many times in these films or other media we get the impression that a humbled villain will never really learn; that simply having their power or influence removed is resolution enough of the problems in the story.  Again, it's not hard to believe that some people, after having been humbled, will "be filthy still" (Revelation 22:11, Mormon 9:14, 2 Nephi 9:16, Doctrine and Covenants 88:35, 102).  But even if these people do not gain the faith and glory that God would otherwise desire for them, they eventually will no longer be able to deny the truth.

Last thoughts for now:
Someday we will all be brought low.  It will be better for us if that happens sooner, rather than later.  It will be better for us if we gain knowledge in our humility, and better for us if we use that knowledge to grow in righteousness.

Christ and His Church--No Substitute, No Other Way

Alma 34:39 "Yea, and I also exhort you, my brethren, that ye be watchful unto prayer continually, that ye may not be led away by the temptations of the devil, that he may not overpower you, that ye may not become his subjects at the last day; for behold, he rewardeth you no good thing."

There are those who, for some reason or another, dedicate themselves to tearing down other peoples' faith. Specifically, there are people who go to great lengths seeking statements, bits of history, or scriptural passages that they expect members of the Church to be unable to explain. Thus, they think they have evidence that would disprove the true Church of Jesus Christ.

We have heard them and their arguments. We felt the darkness seeking to creep into our hearts. And we have been faithful, knowing that the testimony that we have received from our Heavenly Father is strong enough that we can continue to worship and serve Him, even if we don't have a perfect explanation for every accusation made.

He would be an unreasonable God if He expected us to understand everything, to gain every iota of spiritual knowledge, before setting out to really live our lives based on that knowledge. Rather, He asks us to have faith, believing in Him even though we don't see Him, and being true to the Church He has given us. As Alma put it, "Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true." (Alma 32:21)

Many years ago, while practicing at the piano in the Ephraim Institute of Religion, I came across Hymn #124. I was struck with and comforted by the words of the second verse in particular: "Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake To guide the future as He has the past. Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake; All now mysterious shall be bright at last." There will be many things that I will not fully understand even until the day that I die. Even so, God will one day teach me all things. Even in this life, I continue to gain greater knowledge, and I have felt silly before after coming to understand simple truth that answers the questions that previously sowed doubt. For now, I have an undeniable witness from the Holy Ghost that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is indeed the true Church that God organized on the earth to bless His children. I receive this witness again and again as I am taught in that Church, as I read the Book of Mormon and other scripture, and as I listen to the inspired words of modern prophets.

And after moments of doubt, when we truly exercise faith we then return to the scriptures. We read the Book of Mormon and feel the Spirit testifying to us. We feel the Comforter, and with healed hearts we return to the work of God.

Some have let their hope and confidence be shaken. They have let things they couldn't explain drive them away from what they once believed. These are, in fact, often those who are the most ardent in propagating the attacks on and misinformation about the Church of Christ. I feel for them, because I know that they have lost something. They frequently still seek to serve and know Christ, and that is good. However, I know what the Church has done for me, and I know that those who have left the Church have lost something vital to our lives.

This is what I would ask them: If you would have me leave the Church that has given me a knowledge of my Savior, the Church that has given me such great opportunity to serve my God and my fellow brothers and sisters on earth, the Church that has allowed me to learn not only from living prophets but also from common disciples who struggle along just as I do, the Church that has given me a desire to repent and live like my Savior, the Church that has helped me to understand the written word of God, the Church that has given me a knowledge of who I am and why I exist and what I ought to do in life, the Church that has provided me with an unfortunately rare understanding of the nature of God Himself, the Church that has taught me to value my family, the Church that has taught me and thus saved me from so much pain and suffering by helping me to avoid sin, the Church that does so many good things in the world that aren't even seen by the general public, the Church that allows me to assume my role as a son of God and serve using his authority as I strive to become like Him, the Church that has shown me the great mercy of my Father toward someone as undeserving as myself, the Church that has taught me to trust in my God and readily obey His wise counsel, the Church that has helped me bit by bit to not just know about Jesus Christ but also to truly know Him, the Church through which God has given me every good thing in my life! If you would have me leave this Church, I ask you: What do you give me in return?!? What do you expect to give me in exchange for my membership in the kingdom of God on earth that can possibly fill that void?

Jesus Christ is "the way, the truth, and the life: (and) no man cometh unto the Father, but by (Him)." (John 14:6) "...there is no other way, nor means whereby man can be saved, only in and through Christ." (Alma 38:9) Jesus Christ leads his true Church on the earth, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and nothing could ever replace it in my life. Despite my own faults, I will ever seek to de a true disciple of the Savior of the world and I will teach, learn, serve, and worship in His inescapably good Church.


Last thoughts for now:
I am so very grateful to my Father in Heaven for all that He has given me. I will never be able to adequately express gratitude for these things, but I know from where my blessings come. I am grateful for other children of God who seek to help me, even if they feel that I am in error. I will do my best to testify with humility and charity to all who listen that God has restored His Church and His truth, and that through them we can receive all the peace and happiness that He has to offer.

The Most Important Message

I while back I saw a bumper sticker on someone's vehicle that said something like, "My child is excellent." I've seen plenty of stickers that say something positive about a child, for example, declaring that the child is an honor student at their school. I began to wonder to myself, "What do I want to say about my child?"

Praise and compliments generally good, and I'm sure we need more of them. At the same time, I'm wary of some praise for a couple of reasons. Sometimes our seemingly positive remarks can become pride-inducing flattery. Also, a positive remark about one person can imply a negative remark about another (see "The Tongue of Angels", Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, 177th Annual General Conference, April 2007).

After a moment of reflection, I decided on the most important message for my children. It is a message I don't care to broadcast to the world, though it is and should be applicable to all. The most important thing I will tell my children is this: "You are a child of God."

It's a beautiful statement so simply put, and it carries with it many important implied truths. Such a statement does not give a person any reason for boasting and does not denigrate anyone else. It does carry with it a sense of hope, destiny, and duty in righteousness. While it makes no determination of our worthiness before our Heavenly Father, it is a reminder that the evil and wasteful things of the world are unworthy of us. As my children grow it will serve as a reminder of covenants they have made with God, and throughout life it will be essential knowledge in guiding their lives, because they will come to know who they are intended to be and the eternal existence they are intended to have.

So that's what I want my kids to know.

Last thoughts for now:
I hope to teach my children many things, and to raise them up with a good knowledge of the gospel. It will be vital for them to understand the Atonement and the Restoration; however, before my children can fully appreciate these things, and even if they understand nothing else, I want them to understand with certainty the words of a beloved song when they sing them: "I am a child of God."

Knowing Now That He is Our Savior

Yesterday we finished our last night of the production Savior of the World. I believe my favorite scene was when I, as the apostle John, witnesses Peter explaining an important truth to Thomas, who was distressed from having not personally seen the Savior when so many others around him had. Here is a bit of the dialogue, slightly abbreviated:

Peter: I'm sorry you didn't see Him.

Thomas: What I said about believing--

John: We understand, Thomas. You want to see Him with your own eyes.

Thomas: So I can be a witness!

Peter: You are a witness. Look, Thomas, we did see Him, but that is not enough for any of us.

Thomas: What? Peter: Plenty of people saw Him in life, watched His miracles and heard His teachings, and yet some of them were among those who condemned Him to the cross. To see Him, Thomas--to see Him as He is, for who He is--we must look with our hearts...It isn't by flesh and blood that we know, but by what we feel...And one day, when you do see Him, you will not know any better than you know now that He lives, because you already feel--(pointing to Thomas' heart)--here.

Thomas learns a valuable lesson here. It almost brings tears to my eyes as I consider this beautiful truth. It seems that this dialogue is partially based on words from the final talk given by Elder Bruce R. McConkie: "I am one of his witnesses, and in a coming day I shall feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears. But I shall not know any better then than I know now that he is God’s Almighty Son, that he is our Savior and Redeemer, and that salvation comes in and through his atoning blood and in no other way."

I think also of Alma 34:34. "Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world." Now is the time to gain a knowledge of Christ. If we reject Him, or reject that opportunity, what reason do we have to believe that we will be any different later? Perhaps some think that it will be easy to believe in Christ after they have died and seen what is next. However, we will not be so different in the Spirit World from what we are now.

Last thoughts for now:

Now is the time to gain a knowledge of Christ. He is our Savior. He was and is a perfect example and teacher. I know it! To see Him face to face will surely be the most humbling experience of my existence, but I am grateful that I have a testimony from God about my Savior now.

We Know

It's often taken for granted that nobody knows the purpose of life, and that nobody knows if God really exists.

It's not true. We know.

By "we", I mean members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Before being baptized, a person should have a testimony from God that He exists and that the Church is His true church. I realize that it sadly doesn't always happen that way; some people somehow get baptized without seeking and receiving a testimony (as I have addressed already in another post). However, true latter-day saints know with certainty that God loves them and they know why God created the earth and put them on it.

Just today on the radio I heard someone saying that "nobody knows that God exists". Well, I know He does. I know why I'm here, I know what He wants for me, and I know what He wants me to do in order to receive it.

That knowledge is a wonderful thing.

Last thoughts for now: This is the sort of knowledge that needs to be shared. Everyone deserves to know like we do.

Same Old, Same Old

Sometimes people complain that they always hear the same thing in church, or they don't want to watch General Conference because "they always say the same stuff". I've known people who didn't see the need to read scripture more than once.

Well, yes, we do hear the same thing over and over again. I know of five reasons why:

1. Each time we receive a particular message, we may learn more if we invite the Holy Ghost's influence and have readied ourselves by practicing more basic principles. Many people have had the experience of learning something new from a passage of scripture they've read multiple times before. We hear things repeated because there is deeper knowledge to gain.

2. Simply hearing the truth from the prophets will bring us the Holy Ghost and ready us for personal revelation on any topic. Many people have listened to a witness of Christ and received personal revelation for something that is important but unrelated to what is being spoken.

3. We haven't really listened yet. So often we hear the standard answers: pray, read your scriptures, go to church. Are we doing these things? I tend to think I'm a good person, but I know that I have often forgotten to pray in the morning and I sometimes struggle to read my scriptures. (It's been pretty bad recently. I wake up early and go to work, leaving the house at 6:00 am at the latest. I haven't made it a habit recently to read my scriptures in the morning, and then I don't get to them later. Then, in my Gospel Doctrine class, I know I don't have as much to contribute because I haven't done enough studying.) Anyway, we hear things repeated because we often haven't obeyed yet.

4. There are other people listening who haven't heard it yet. So many people are only hearing the restored Gospel for the first time. We can be patient as they are enlightened by glorious truth, particularly since it's still good for us.

5. Repetition reinforces ideas. Truth ought to be reinforced in our lives (especially to counteract the falsehoods that come to us over and over again).

Beyond that, we actually do hear some new things in General Conference sometimes, and it can be thrilling. I should give a list of my favorite conference talks some time.

Last thoughts for now:
It's okay to hear a good thing again. Heavenly Father knows what He's doing.