Mistakes of People Who Lose (or Never Had) Faith

There are two types of opponents of the Church of Jesus Christ.  There are some who are former members of the Church who have lost their faith, and there are others who never were members of the Church but who have been told bad things about it and consequently feel a need to combat an evil they perceive.  In either case, they tend to make the same types of mistakes when considering and discussing various aspects of the doctrine, practices, and history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We should always remember the second great commandment and show love to everyone, including those who have bad things to say about our religion.  But we needn't make the same mistakes they are making.  After examining many complaints of people who either doubt or aggressively attack the Church of Jesus Christ, I find that each generally falls into one of five categories:

1. Sometimes, the information they present has an element of truth or historic basis, but ignores a lot of other truth and history in order to present a negative view of the Church or its leaders.  Again, sometimes this is done out of ignorance, and I think this happens quite often.  People talk about "doing research" without having done enough research themselves, because what is presented to them appears, at first glance, to be solid and adequate.  In the other cases, it seems clear that much of the history is being ignored because it doesn't support their position.  To be clear, serious historians do have to evaluate the reliability and consistency of various records, and we're not automatically obligated to accept any particular piece of information as fully authoritative and accurate, but there's a difference between questioning the validity of some information and completely disregarding a lot of information.  One example of incomplete information I've encountered was a person complaining about Joseph Smith being taken to court for "treasure digging" while employed by Josiah Stoal/Stowell.  I wasn't inclined to give great heed to the accuser, but I got curious about what the real situation was, so I looked up the court record, which is included in the Joseph Smith papers made available online by the Church; as it turns out, Josiah Stoal originally wanted Joseph to find treasure, but was dissuaded from the effort by Joseph.  The complaint came from a relative, but Josiah Stoal was always happy with Joseph Smith, whom he continued to employ for other work.  The court didn't find Joseph to be at fault.  So while I could have initially assumed something bad about Joseph Smith based on the negative report I heard, after examining information for myself I found nothing to worry about.  As I've listened to multiple faithful latter-day saint scholars it's clear that they are giving unbiased consideration to all available information and that it ends up strengthening their faith in Jesus Christ and His work in our time through His restored Church.

2. Sometimes, the information they present is simply false.  We can't trust everything that everyone claims.  Sometimes people unknowingly pass on bad information, and sometimes they're deliberately lying.  Sometimes they actually think it's okay to lie for what they consider is a righteous cause.  Ironically, I've heard people accuse members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints of practicing something they call "lying for the Lord", which of course is absolutely contrary to what the Church really teaches, and it seems that it is exactly what they are doing in the moment.  I've also heard people claim to be former members of the Church, with the assumption that it lends more credence to their criticism of the Church, and while this is true in some cases, it appears to not be in others; it ends up looking like a complete fabrication after they evince little knowledge about the Church.  There are cases when there may have originally been some truth to a statement, but in the manner of the Telephone Game, after multiple biased retellings it is so distorted that no truth remains.  It doesn't hurt to fact-check people before devoting extensive consideration to their claims.

3. Sometimes, their information is outdated.  Opponents of the Church have been publishing their opposition since before the Church was actually founded.  Some information they present--such as Fawn Brodie's early biography of Joseph Smith or lists of supposed anachronisms in the Book of Mormon--just don't hold up when compared with additional information that has been discovered in the many years since they were written.  It is easy to assume that they're valid without taking into consideration the large amounts of newer information and analysis, but to do so is a mistake.  Scholars who are faithful members of the Church of Jesus Christ do reshape their understandings based on their own and others' new scholarly work.  Granted, by definition, physical evidences alone are never an adequate foundation for faith, but it is pleasing to find multiple discoveries that actually do support the ideas we hold about the Restoration.

4. Sometimes, people make unwarranted assumptions and come to unwarranted conclusions based on unknowns.  There's a lot we don't know about doctrine and history.  Unknowns are the norm in any scientific endeavor; they're why science exists.  Unknowns are also normal in anthropological studies.  There is simply a lot about the past that we don't know.  Scholarly efforts in history and archaeology provide us glimpses and snippets that require some interpretation.  Beyond changing our minds about some ideas, there are others that we just can't formulate with high confidence.  Any scholar should be comfortable with some unknowns, and any disciple of Christ has the privilege of not only revelation but also comfort through the Holy Ghost.  In many cases, we learn things, years down the road, that answer questions we first had much earlier.  For many other questions, we just can't expect to learn the answers during our mortal lives, and that's okay.  We know that God will provide everything we need in order to fulfill our purpose here on Earth and to be prepared for eternity.  One example of this is the translation of the Book of Abraham; there's much we don't know about it--partially because Joseph Smith was murdered.  If he had lived longer, he would have had more opportunities to speak and to write, and we would doubtless have had more explanations about a number of topics.  When we don't have a particular answer, God will tell us, through the Holy Ghost, something along the lines of, "I know you don't have that answer.  I'm glad you want to learn and I know you'll be okay in the meanwhile.  Keep going with what I've already given you; you still have plenty to learn and do that is immediately available."  (Granted, the reassurance is unlikely to be anywhere near that wordy.)  In a related scenario, sometimes there is information available that supports positive ideas about the Church more than negative ideas, but we don't have access to all of it or don't have the analytical background needed to make sense of it all.  Other people succeed in figuring things out, and if we had access to them we would see that there are good answers available, but we don't have access to them (at least yet) and don't yet see that good answers do exist.  This puts us in essentially the same situation as when no answer will ever come before we die.  In all of these cases, faith and seeking revelation from God helps us stay on the right track, but people are subject to influences that undermine our faith and our decisions to seek revelation, and sometimes people allow themselves to be affected by those influences, thus missing out on the best ideas and the comfort that God gives when we have to be left, at least temporarily, with some unknowns.

5. Sometimes people just choose faithless conclusions.  Our evaluation of evidence is always impacted by our choices to exercise or abandon faith.  I love the movie 12 Angry Men (based on a play), in which there is a consensus that a young man accused of murder is obviously guilty based on the available evidence.  Over the course of the film/play, people experience beautiful moments of moral concern and mental reevaluation, and eventually they unanimously declare the young man to be Not Guilty.  The same evidence, when viewed differently, leads them to a different conclusion.  In matters of Church history, practice, and doctrine, sometimes people oversimplify the situation.  Sometimes biased language contributes to this problem.  A person might ask, for example, "Why does the Church hoard money?"  The word "hoard" is chosen instead of "save" only for the sake of putting a pejorative spin on the conversation.  Many people were surprised to learn that the Church had saved so much money from donations.  It is always easy for one person to accuse another of not doing enough good.  The actual financial situation of the Church of Jesus Christ is wonderful; it's great that we're not struggling like we have in the past, that we're keeping the Church running and building more temples, that we're able to do so much good to meet people's material needs on both a local level and also supporting thousands of global relief projects, and that we were able to do so without going broke during a pandemic that caused worldwide financial strain.  It's easy for people to merely accuse without thinking through all of that, but a faithful response allows us to be open to larger realization, and again, to hold to the goodness God provides while we're still thinking through things.

Last thoughts for now:
Everyone has different beliefs in some ways--even within a given religion and even within the Church of Jesus Christ--and it's okay to be unsure about some things.  We should tolerate some uncertainty.  What we should never doubt is what comes to us from God.  He is both wise and loving to the greatest degree, and he wants to give us truth.  We should never let uncertainty undermine our confidence in Him, His Son, and His Spirit.  We should keep learning and allow our beliefs to change at times, but considering all that God gives us, we should never allow our faith in God and in Jesus Christ to be undermined.  We should be aware of faith-damaging mistakes and avoid making them for ourselves.  We should show the greatest love to everyone, including people who do struggle with their faith, and we should help others to build their faith.

Hurt and Tired

I normally try to be positive and inspiring here, saving the wounds for something else.  But I have little else.  My wife listens to me consistently.  I don't have many other outlets.  I wouldn't want to write this elsewhere, because on one hand, when people did respond it would feel like fishing for sympathy, and I don't want to be an emotionally needy sort of person.  I don't want the kind of support-for-the-sake-of-showing-support that I see so much online and in other social contexts.  On the other, when people didn't respond it would be confirmation that they didn't care about things that are deeply personal for me.  But here, I don't expect an audience anyway, so I don't have to worry about people responding or not responding.

I am so tired in some ways.  I am tired of reaching out to people and having them not reach back.  It hurts when people have so many opportunities to demonstrate that they don't care for or about me.  Over, and over, and over again.  It's not that no one ever responds, but the amount of response is discouraging, to say the least.  I keep reaching out to people because I know it's a good thing to do.  People need people and the world is more socially messed up than ever.  But I also just want some people to care about me.  I want to know that there are people out there that I like and who like me in return, and who would voluntarily choose to spend time with me.  It's not as if I never experience this, but it's so little, especially compared to how much I try to reach out to others.

I try to do good things.  It feels like people assign different motives to me at times, and I hate to be misunderstood.  For example, I believe in music, I believe in teaching my children, and I believe that people should share our talents to benefit others, and this leads me to arrange for my family to sing in sacrament meetings.  With many other efforts I feel the same way.  Perhaps there's some arrogance in trying to do anything, but I'm generally keenly aware of my limitations as I attempt any endeavor.  I know that some people appreciate what I do, and yet I also feel that other people think I do it out of pride.  It feels like people support my efforts less because of those false perceived motivations.  And I am so tired from it.

I'm tired of making mistakes, also.  In so many efforts to fulfill obligations and to take on extra tasks simply because I believe they'll be good to do, I've messed up over and over again.  It's not to say that I've had no success, but amid those efforts--whether generally successful or not--I have made error after error.  It stings to realize it, and I somehow often remember those errors years later.

One of my dreams, after retiring from the Army, is to take several weeks worth of food and water and retreat to a cabin in the wilderness somewhere, away from all people and technology.  I would take books.  I would stay there at least until I forget what day it is.

And I feel like I may be tempted to largely withdraw from society in a more permanent sense.  I don't think I could ever really feel comfortable with that.  I know God wants me to serve people--despite my severe limitations--and to receive service from them.  It's pretty much that simple.  I have known it for a long time, and I've had the idea reinforced over and over again.  So I really don't think I could withdraw permanently.

But the idea is appealing.  And maybe by the time I retire from the Army and no longer have a corresponding social obligation I won't have it in me any more to be among people that I hope for real friendship and love from.  When we've been hurt repeatedly over a long time, we just aren't eager to be hurt again.

If anyone does read this, don't worry; I've lived through pain and depression a lot in the past, and I'm not inclined toward harming myself or others.  I'll survive.  I'll be fine.  My faith in my Heavenly Father and my Savior won't be weakened.  If there is anyone who has read other things that I've written here and feels that I've been dishonest before by not expressing this personal sorrow, I apologize, because dishonesty has never been my intention.  Just remember that, just like "in the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see", a heart that is more vocal out of principle can also hold plenty of sorrow.

When I was younger, I remember finding that I liked to ask people what they value, and I asked that they answer in one or two words.  Not necessarily what they value the most, but something they value.  My answer was friendship.  Implicit in that was understanding.  For some time I thought that maybe I didn't need friendship so much any more, but as more years have passed, it's clear that I still want it.

Last thoughts for now:
I should be better at seeking solace from my Savior.  I trust Him implicitly, and I know He loves me.  I just still want to feel love from others, too.  Is that a fault?  I don't know.  Perhaps in five years I'll understand better just how worn out I have been, and maybe it won't be too much.

Incorrect Teachings Among the Saints

There have been times in my past where I missed the mark a bit when trying to help others to be righteous. I think it has tended to be when I was reaching beyond the scope of my stewardship, and that I was being overzealous. There have been other times when I have heard others share incorrect of skewed doctrines. It feels a bit strange when this happens; if we're listening to the Holy Ghost, He tells us very clearly that something isn't right, just as He testifies to us when we hear and speak truth.

It can be uncomfortable though when someone misses the mark, particularly when we know that the person is genuinely trying to be a true disciple of Christ. However, in simple terms this is really just another mistake, of which we make many.

We read in 3 Nephi 1:24 that after Christ was born, some Nephites attempted "to prove by the scriptures that it was no more expedient to observe the law of Moses." Note that they were using the scriptures; that much is to their credit. As we read further in the same verse and also verse 25, "Now in this thing they did err, having not understood the scriptures. But it came to pass that they soon became converted, and were convinced of the error which they were in...therefore in this same year were they brought to a knowledge of their error and did confess their faults." Put simply, they misunderstood something, tried to teach something false, and were corrected.

Having made and witnessed mistakes, I have gained a desire to not repeat them. In this case, I try to be careful to only state truth when state something as if it were truth. When I state something about which I'm uncertain, I say as much. Sometimes it's a very good thing to share good ideas that are unverifiable, as long as it's clear that the ideas are not purported to be verified doctrine.

When people do teach something incorrect, it's important to simply love them and help them, just like in any other circumstance. Here, that means correcting them with as little awkwardness or embarrassment as possible.

Last thoughts for now:
Truth is a joy to those who seek to be righteous. We all make mistakes sometimes. We can all learn and get past those mistakes, and we can all help others to do the same.

Mistakes and Perfection

As I make my own efforts to do what is right and to grow as a person, I am keenly aware of all the mistakes I make. Sometimes I sin, but sometimes I just make mistakes. Particularly when doing something difficult, we are all prone to making mistakes from time to time. Was Christ the same? We know He never sinned, but I have to wonder if He ever did things that frustrated Him or that He felt embarrassed about. I wonder if He ever faced a difficult situation but afterward, though having done nothing unrighteous, said to Himself, “Aaargh, I could have done that better.”

Making mistakes is very humbling for me. Was it also for Jesus Christ, as He “continued from grace to grace” (Doctrine and Covenants 93:13)?

Before His death and resurrection, Christ commanded His followers to be perfect even as Heavenly Father is perfect. During a visit to the Nephites after His resurrection, He said the same thing but mentioned that He was also perfect. I think one part of perfection is having a perfect body; that’s one thing Christ had after His resurrection that He didn’t have before. I find it interesting that He modified the Sermon on the Mount slightly when giving it to the Nephites. (For example, adding the phrase “who come unto me” after the words “blessed are the poor in Spirit”—see 3 Nephi 12:3.)

Beyond that, I begin to wonder something else, challenging slightly a long-held idea. Perhaps this is a stupid question, and perhaps I should have read Talmage’s Jesus the Christ more so that I would have an easily referenced and definitive answer, but does being perfect mean being morally and righteously perfect only, or does it also mean never making mistakes? It seems strange to think of God making a mistake. If we are to become perfect, and thus reach a point at which we no longer make mistakes, how does that happen, and how long does it take?

Last thoughts for now:
Though I don’t expect to be certain about it any time soon, I imagine that Christ did make mistakes in His mortal life. Maybe it was just something like messing up a piece of wood when helping Joseph with the carpentry. It would certainly be understandable if He did. Either way, I expect to make many more of my own mistakes. If I didn’t, I’m sure I wouldn’t be living a life worth living.