He Maketh His Sun to Rise

I've said before that the most instructive part of my life is being a parent.  As I try to be a good father, I gain insight on my Heavenly Father, which is important because I'm trying to emulate Him and His Son.

I give a fair amount of thought to how I (and we, including my wife) want to do things.  We have certain rules in the house, of course, and I take a certain attitude toward my kids in which I try to treat them with the same intelligence and respect that I would show to anyone else.  I try to grant my children responsibility for their actions so that they can learn from them.  I try to avoid coercing them.  I try to encourage talking when there's a problem.  I aim to encourage good behavior and not encourage bad behavior.  My wife and I do pretty well with it.  Granted, I'm unfortunately lazy sometimes and with my imperfections I make a host of mistakes, but I have some practices that I've thought through and I want to keep.

I want my children to understand consequences because I want them to know why they should make good choices.  Perhaps, though, imposed consequences are not always the best idea.  Recently I again adjusted my outlook on parenting with the thought that there are going to be certain things that I do for my kids regardless of what they do beforehand.  For example, I want to read to my kids before they go to bed, observe their night-time prayers, and sing to them as they lie down.  Sometimes I've deprived them of the experience because it was late, they took too long getting ready for bed, because their room was messy, or a combination of those reasons.  Really, though, I don't want to deprive them (or myself) of those things.

The thought is mirrored in a scriptural passage that has long been one of my favorites.  In 3 Nephi 12:44-45 (and similarly in Matthew 5:44-45) Jesus is teaching about love and how we can be more like our Father in Heaven: "But behold I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father who is in heaven; for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good."

I suppose that's what we call unconditional love.  From what I'm told, that's the kind of love we're supposed to show to our family (and everybody else, too).

Last thoughts for now:
There are still going to be circumstances in my parenting when conditions apply and the kids will miss out on something good because they failed to meet a prerequisite.  I want to show them true love,  though, so that they really know that I love them.  I want them to know that if they "turn away, or disobey, or go astray" ("Teacher, Do You Love Me?" -- Children's Songbook, page 178) I will still love them and be ready to help them just like my Father in Heaven is always there for me no matter how often I make dumb mistakes.  I need to show them that love.  So at bedtime I will make my song to sing for both the kids who are behaving well and the kids who aren't, just as God "maketh His sun to rise".

The Image of God

I'm not sure what brought on this thought, but I wondered the other day if perhaps our idea of what our Heavenly Father is like comes largely from what our earthly fathers are like.

People seem to have varied ideas about what God is like. I think they feel differently about His motives and His level of involvement in our lives.

Yesterday night I sort of completed the thought when it occurred to me that the father in the home is supposed to provide the best example to his children of what God is like.

(I then suppose that our mothers initially give us our ideas of what our Heavenly Mother is like, though of course we don't speak of her often.)

The father is the patriarch in his home. He is the priesthood leader in the family, and the priesthood is the power and authority to act in God's name. Just as the bishop is God's representative to all members of the ward, the father is God's representative to his family.

So when the world lacks an understanding of what God is like (and this is something I've seen many times over many years), I can only ascribe blame for that to fathers who failed to live as they should and to provide a good example to their children.

How many people feel as if God is not involved in their lives, that He doesn't care about them, or even that He does not exist? How many people have grown up in homes where the father was absent, or where he gave his attention to other things and rarely spent time with his kids?

Satan has been subtly undermining the roles of men (and women) for decades. How many in the world have lost faith in our Heavenly Father in recent years? Satan has also been discouraging people from having children, and thus denying themselves the most important opportunity to be examples of godliness and thus learn about Him that way. (After all, being a father has been the most instructive experience for me in learning about God.)

Naturally, though, the place in which I must really concern myself is in my own home, with my own children (and wife). That is where I can serve best, where the power of my example is the greatest.

Last thoughts for now:
I'm sure there are various other factors that shape a person's idea of God, particularly since my own father was often not present during my younger years. However, I believe that I have a responsibility in my own home to be a righteous man in whom my family can see godly attributes. The task of teaching my family, by example, the nature of God, is mine.

Joy of Fatherhood

At Snow College, I was an assistant ward clerk for a while. One day, while we were waiting for a meeting to start, Bishop Cragun shared a thought with us. I don't think he particularly intended to teach anything with his words, but they have stayed with me. He was speaking of one of his children and one of their activities (I believe it was wrestling). He said that he had wrestled when he was younger, but it was more fun to watch his children do it.

I remember coming to a strange realization myself. I remember echoing others' thoughts that children are entertained by the simplest things. Then, one day as I watched my own daughter, I saw the other side of it: I'm entertained when she does the simplest things. I love hearing her speak. I love watching her learn. She is endlessly entertaining.

Those who achieve the highest degree of exaltation do so specifically because they will exercise the greatest power: procreation. The greatest joy beings can have is found in watching our children and helping them to grow.

Last thoughts for now:
After personal righteousness, my greatest concern is for my family. I look forward to having more children and raising them to love life and live truth.