Our Covenant to Weep

I've seen some good advice in recent years about helping others who are grieving.  When tragedy strikes, it is very natural that we feel sadness, and it's a mistake to try to avoid feeling that sadness or prevent others from feeling it.  In fact, it is part of our covenant as disciples of Christ to do just the opposite.

Among other things, Alma spoke as part of the baptismal covenant dealing with helping others during their times of trial.  Specifically, (in Mosiah 18:8-9) he listed that those who make the covenant "are willing to":

1. "bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light"
2. "mourn with those that mourn"
3. "comfort those that stand in need of comfort"

We're explicitly given a very interesting instruction in the Doctrine and Covenants (42:45): "Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die".

(So while I think my thoughts before were valid in an earlier post on 07 December 2008, I guess I can cut that one guy in the picture a little bit of slack when he was mourning the loss of President Hinckley.  But only a little, because I think that mourning with others is meaningful when we actually know them and can communicate directly with them about their loss.  Anyway...)

Jesus himself, the ultimate exemplar, wept for someone He knew He was going to raise from the dead.  It's the shortest verse in scripture: "Jesus wept."  (John 11:35)  Even though Jesus knew that Mary and Martha's mourning would not last long, He took the time to weep with them--to mourn with them.

Last thoughts for now:
We all will have cause to mourn at times.  To me, an important way of showing love to others is to recognize that their feelings are real and valid, and we can do so effectively by sharing those feelings.  More than that, taking time to weep with others is also part of being a covenant disciple of Christ.  I hope to always remember that.

The Strategy

I don't know if this strategy actually works, and the strategy for it's own sake would miss the point.  However, I'm willing to keep going on the assumption that it does work to an extent.

Bear with me as I preface the strategy.  I'll start with an age-old philosopher's question: Why do bad things happen to good people?  Or, why do bad things happen to anybody?  Why does God allow it?

Firstly, because ultimately bad things happening to people don't interfere with God's plan.  That is, bad circumstances or events don't really harm them eternally.

In the classic passage of Moses 1:39, we read, "For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." The immortality part has been taken care of via the resurrection.  We're covered there.  Eternal life is the part that remains.  Eternal life is more than endless living; it's life like that of the Eternal One, with all the glory of God.  It's exaltation.  We can receive it only through faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, continual reliance on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and being true to our covenants.

No outside force can stop us from receiving eternal life.  Nothing short of our own choices can harm us eternally.  No illness, injury, or loss, or even death, can take away our exaltation.  Take Job for an example.  He lost his wealth, his home, his family, his credibility with his friends, and maybe even more though I don't remember the whole story, but he stayed strong in his faith.

Hard times are painful for us, and our loving Heavenly Father surely doesn't enjoy seeing us experience that pain, but they don't impede His plan.  (And frankly, no matter how rough the rough times are, they amount to little when viewed from an eternal perspective.)

Secondly, trials give us the opportunity to grow if we bear them well.  We can very effectively gain patience, humility, sympathy, wisdom, purification, and strength through faithfully enduring trials.  So, in addition to tribulations and trials not being really, eternally bad for us, they can be very good for us eternally if we handle them well.

So, to the strategy.  Consider humility.  That's a big one.  I have certainly been humbled more than once by my trials and difficulties, particularly when I recognized that my own mistakes or immaturity brought those trials to me.  Trials also bring purification, at least in the sense that they help us to filter out unimportant things from our life.  However, I have also found that service brings humility, and it also helps us to let go of our selfish pursuits.

Consider, for example, that we go to care for someone who is suffering from a disablingly painful disease.  As we do so, we realize that our own problems are relatively small, and that we have an easy life compared to the poor soul in the hospital bed. Instant and refreshing humility.  Also, by dedicating our time to serving others, we drop less necessary things from our life.  While attending to the sick person, we don't have time for watching sports, or playing online games, or even good and productive activities that are simply less important.

If I'm going to learn to be like God, as I've been commanded (Matthew 5:48), I need to learn humility and be willing to let go of selfish or unimportant pursuits.  My strategy then is to gain that humility and purification through service, rather than having God feel it necessary to give me these things through trials.

Of course, that's not really my reason for dedicating myself to serving others.  The real reason is charity, the pure love of Christ, and a desire to obey my God.  At the same time, though, if I can reduce my personal need for trials, well, I'm all for it.

Last thoughts for now:
I don't know if our dedication to service really causes God to give us fewer trials in life, and I'm sure it won't prevent all of them.  Perhaps, though, it's really a matter of changing the nature of some of our trials.  Service, after all, is still a challenge, and there is plenty of room for sorrow and exhaustion in service, but how much better to experience the difficulties because we're helping others rather than because we're being unwise?  Service to God and His children (Mosiah 2:17) brings us joy and helps us to forget our own problems, but it also helps us to become like Him.  I hope to learn this lesson more and more.