Not “But”; Rather, “And”

People use and misuse the word “love” quite a bit, and there are a great many related thoughts.  It’s easily one of the most common themes in poetry and song.  Among those related thoughts are some related to homosexuality; some people are attracted to others of the same sex, and some people act physically according to those desires, and the word “love” is often used in conjunction with either.  Conversely, members of the restored Church of Jesus Christ are taught to show love to others but are also taught principles about sexual morality that do not align with common ideas about homosexuality.

Sometimes groups of people argue about it.  Some say, “If you love me, you must accept me as I am, and in turn, you must accept what I do,” even though they are actively promoting behavior and ideas that are contrary to God’s will.  In turn, I have many times heard or seen the statement that as disciples of Christ, we are to “love the sinner but hate the sin.”

That doesn’t always sit quite right with me.  In a sense, it’s true, and it’s essentially in accordance with what God has said in scripture, but hatred is seemingly opposed to what God is all about.  John (in John 4:8, 16) repeated a short but very strong statement: “God is love.”  (Emphasis added.)

If love is so central to godliness, ought we to use the theme of “love sinners but hate sin”?  Is there a better message to send, and one that is less able to be misinterpreted or twisted into a message of hatred?

Yes, there is.  President Dalling H. Oaks highlighted it in a general conference address in October 2019.  The better expression is simply this: Love God, and love everyone else.  Love God first and foremost.

These ideas were taught by the Savior Himself.  He was asked what the greatest (or most important) commandment was.  In Matthew 22:37–39, He answered, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

President Oaks cautioned that, “our zeal to keep this second commandment must not cause us to forget the first”.  Indeed, the Savior’s response was about a question of a single, greatest commandment, and He only somewhat incidentally chose to speak of the second.  President Oaks’ strong implication was that, although we may naturally feel love and affection for some people, it is more important for us to follow that first and greatest commandment than it is for us to do anything related to the second.  It is most important for us to show love for God by seeking to know and do His will.  As the Savior said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”  (John 14:15)

So rather than using the expression “love the sinner but hate the sin”, perhaps we should instead use one that has a clear focus on only love: “Love God, and then love everyone else.”

Last thoughts for now:

As I’ve said before, I can make no claim to love others perfectly, but I know that determining to show that love is an essential part of being a disciple of Christ.  I hope to live in such a way that demonstrates my love of God and others.  I hope for that love to grow and be real.