A "Testimony", or Faith and Knowledge?

I think that members of the Church of Jesus Christ sometimes use the word "testimony" in a way that is less helpful than we think.  We talk about a "testimony" as if it's a thing we carry around with us.  In scripture, I don't think I've ever found that kind of usage.  Rather, what we refer to as a "testimony" is known simply as either faith or knowledge.

What is a testimony?  It is the act of testifying--of speaking or otherwise sharing what we know through personal experience.  This is the meaning both in law and in scripture.  Rather than being a thing to be possessed, it is an action.

When someone gives you a reprimand, do you "have a reprimand"?  When God gives us a testimony of some truth, what we have as a result is greater faith and knowledge.

Rather than saying, "I have a testimony of X," when we say, "I know X", the very action of saying such a thing is our testimony.  Rather than stating that someone's "testimony" isn't as strong as it used to be, is it not much more direct to say that their faith is less strong than it was?  If they're not sharing their faith and knowledge with others, at least intermittently, then by definition, it isn't a testimony.

I don't think the saints' common usage is evil, but I do think it is harder for people to understand, whether they're outside or inside the Church.  Though it may sound paradoxical to suggest, it's better for us to refer to a testimony as what is given, rather than something that is possessed.

Here's what scripture tells us: Peter encouraged us to "grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."  (2 Peter 3:18)  In a revelation given through Joseph Smith, we were similarly told, "ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth." (Doctrine and Covenants 50:40)  Helaman related that "the Lamanites began to grow exceedingly in the knowledge of their God".  (Helaman 6:34)  King Benjamin said that as we remember God's greatness and humble ourselves before Him, "ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true."  (Mosiah 4:12)  In Alma 32, Alma used a great parable to teach that as we nourish the word of God in ourselves, as it grows, out faith will increase and become knowledge.

According to Alma, sometimes our faith, in some respects, becomes "dormant" as we gain knowledge.  But even as our knowledge increases, we must continue to increase in faith, because faith includes action; through faith we demonstrate that knowledge of truth really means something in our lives.

I don't mean to be too condemning; the common usage of "testimony" as a noun that suggests something that can be possessed appears even in the current temple recommend interview questions.  But I do think there's a better way to express truth.

Last thoughts for now:

I hope that my testimony to others is powerful; that is to say, I hope that I am able to testify powerfully through the power of the Holy Ghost, who will testify with me as I speak truth.  I also hope that my faith and knowledge will continue to grow, year by year.  I hope that when I speak of any of that, those around me will understand with clarity.

My Own Story (a short version)

I often like to inquire with others about their beliefs and the foundation of their faith, if they profess any.  I find value in what they say.  I believe it helps open up mutually beneficial conversation.  I learn things from people, and I hope that they'll want to hear from me, because after being given so much from God I certainly have things to share.  The other day, someone in a video comments section asked me about my own experiences.  They didn't ask specifics, so I have to summarize a bit.  I doubt that anyone will ever want to read a full biography that would be drastically longer, but here's a short version of my history with my religious faith and knowledge:

I was born into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  My parents were divorced when I was three years old.  I was baptized at the standard age of eight years old.  As I grew up, I had many positive (if probably very typical) experiences with the Church, including study, friendship, and service opportunities.  Another part of being in the Church was commonly eating food from the Bishop's Storehouse that my mother didn't have to pay for.  When I got older and went off to college, I got a bit lazy when it came to religion.  For example, sometimes I just didn't go to church on Sundays, for no particular reason.  All young latter-day saint men were expected to serve as missionaries upon turning nineteen, but as I thought about it, I knew I didn't want to go just because other people expected me to.  So I went back to college for another year, and then began to serve.  I also began to want more of a relationship with my father, and at my request he supported me financially when I left to serve as a full-time missionary.

Both before and after my missionary service, at times I came across information about Church procedures or Church history, perhaps relating to individual leaders, that seemed strange.  Broadly speaking, I found a way to be patient with not completely understanding some things immediately.  One morning, when I was 18 or 19 and I was playing hymns on the piano in an empty classroom in the Institute of Religion at the college, some words in the second verse of "Be Still, My Soul" really struck me: "Be still, my soul, thy God doth undertake / To guide the future as He has the past. / Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake / All now mysterious shall be bright at last."  As the years have passed, I've had opportunities here and there to learn more or gain better insights from people who have shared them with me, and many things that felt mysterious or strange before turned out to not be worrisome at all.  When dealing with information from opponents of the Church, I also realized that, at least partially because they don't have the Church's best interests in mind, they sometimes promote information that is partially or wholly untrue, but even when only relying on reliable facts they frequently choose the worst possible conclusion from available data instead of the best possible conclusion.  I have found that while seeking truth and answers to questions, sometimes it comes quickly and sometimes not, but I always eventually learn more and I find great reason to trust what God has given me.

Trust in God is one of the great life lessons I learned as a missionary, but I also became much more able to recognize God's influence in my life, particularly through the Holy Ghost.  When at the missionary training center, our teachers (former missionaries themselves) taught us about how important it was to help people to recognize the Holy Ghost as we taught them.  I remember struggling with this; I wasn't sure that I knew how to do this.  I asked one of my teachers about it, and he suggested that because I had grown up with the Church, perhaps I was accustomed to it so much that I sometimes took it for granted.  He spoke to reassure me, and I wasn't fully satisfied, but I hoped to figure it out.  Several days later, as I was being taught again by a different teacher, I thought to myself, "The Spirit of God is very strong here today."  And then I realized what I had just done; I had listened to God in my heart and felt Him there, and recognized it.  As I did so, I realized that it was indeed something I had felt and known many times in my life.  I then gladly taught others about it and have enjoyed God's joy and peace not only during my mission but also many, many times since.

I will share one particular experience I had with the Holy Ghost during my mission.  I lived and taught in the city of Yamoussoukro for five months.  One day, while walking through a corridor of a housing area, I looked to the side and noticed one of the housing units and its number.  (I think it was 157 or 152, but it's been two decades ago and I don't have a great memory.)  That was all, at first; I just noticed it.  Some time later--maybe a few days or weeks--my companion and I had some time available in the evening, and he asked me what I thought we should do.  I mentioned the door I'd seen before and suggested that we could visit the people who lived there.  So we did.  Either that evening or upon making an appointment and returning (I don't remember which), we were greeted by the couple who lived there and we taught the first missionary lesson to them.  The husband was somehow employed by a local church and accommodated us more out of patient courtesy than anything else, and in the end didn't seem particularly interested.  I imagine that he later discouraged his wife; in any event, we didn't end up teaching them further and I don't know the end of her story.  But I do remember very well what happened during the lesson.  We spoke of God, of Jesus Christ, of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon, and then of the Holy Ghost.  After teaching, I turned to the woman and asked her (in French, the local national language), "What do you feel right now?"  She paused, with an almost troubled or slightly perplexed look on her face, and I asked her again, "What do you feel inside right now?"  With little more pause, she answered with these exact words: "La joie du cœur."  Translated into English, that means, "joy of heart."  Her husband looked directly at her with evident surprise.  I don't think she was even literate, but she knew what she felt inside.  I told her it was the Holy Ghost, and I knew that she knew that we had spoken truth from God.

One other major life lesson I learned as a missionary was that God is merciful.  I have long considered myself the most blessed person I know, and I realize that while I've tried to do good things in life, nothing I've done could merit the many blessings I've received.  I'm blessed far beyond what I feel I deserve by my own worthiness.

In the decades following my mission, I've had a great many other experiences that continue to shape my faith and knowledge.  I've seen other people grow in faith or abandon faith, I've seen people die, I've witnessed the Church as a worldwide body with the same spirit of fellowship and Spirit of God everywhere, I've had glimpses into Church administration, and I've learned more about Church history.  I have had very difficult trials that would require much more space to write about.  I've been blessed to know many disciples of Christ and many other good people across the United States and the world; I've been served by them and I've done what I could to serve them.  I've seen the Church help people with material needs, and I've been blessed to be able to give now instead of receiving.  I have had witness after witness from God about the truth of the gospel and his desire for me to participate in His Church, despite my many failings and the many failings I've witnessed in other people even as we try to follow our Savior.  I have hoped to be of service to the people around me and I've certainly hoped to show love in everything I do.  I think I'm learning that love better; it sure means a lot to me to learn it.  I am happy to extend an offer of support to anyone, and if you ever think I can help you in any way, whether to answer questions or even just as a listening ear.  If I were without you in person, I would offer a hug also, but alas, that's not possible over the Internet.  But I hope you know that I find myself with the best of reasons to follow the two great commandments, and though I can't express it as perfectly as God can, I am happy to say that I love you, and I hope that you seek and receive God's greatest blessings.

Last thoughts for now:
To anyone who ever cares enough to read these things, please know that I share them with the utmost sincerity and a real, if imperfect, desire to share truth and love.  Reach out to me any time, and as a disciple of Christ, I will reach back out to you.

The Word of My Testimony

It has been almost a year since I have posted any spiritual thoughts here.

While studying with the young adults/cadets here, at their Institute of Religion class, we recently discussed the War in Heaven as described by the apostle John.  I was very impressed by a particular verse that describes the victory of the saints over the Devil who was cast out of Heaven; Revelation 12:11 reads, "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death."  He lists three things that enable victory over Satan: the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the testimony of Christ's disciples, and those disciples' willingness to give up their lives if needed for the cause of truth.

The Atonement of Christ has been accomplished and is a certainty.  Members of the Church of Jesus Christ are not called upon to give up our lives in most circumstances, these days.  But we are often called upon to share the testimonies we've received from God.

Culturally, in the Church, we often use the expression "bear testimony".  It's an interesting expression; I think most people just get used to the phrase and tend to equate it with standing in front of people, saying "I know" a lot, and then following those words with basic spiritual facts.  While there's clearly truth to that, I think we often miss the full meaning of the responsibility we have that is stated in those words.  I've never thought much myself about why we use that expression, but to "bear" means to carry; we are carrying to other people the witness we've received from the God through the Holy Ghost.  Naturally, this means we must first seek and receive a witness from God about the truths of the restored gospel in the first place.  When we say, "I have a testimony," it's really an abbreviated way of saying, "I have received a testimony from God; the Almighty has given a witness of truth to me."  That source of truth, and the echoing witness from that source, is what gives power to our words.

It's not always easy, of course, to bear testimony to others.  It's often difficult, in our daily lives, to know when it's a good time to introduce spiritual or religious thoughts in a conversation.  And by "a good time", I mean that there are simply moments and opportunities when people are desirous or otherwise ready to receive spiritual truth, whereas it seems evident to us that there are also many times when bringing up such things without a listener's desire and readiness simply becomes overbearing and unhelpful for them.

An interesting phenomenon is the way that modern technology enables us to share truth with others.  The Internet is known for having enabled a lot of anonymous vitriol and abuse, but through the great variety of forums it contains, it also provides us with opportunities to give a witness of truth that God can endorse.

As I mentioned above, I haven't been active on this site for quite a while.  Even in the last couple of years, I haven't written much here.  That makes sense, in a way, given that I don't expect to have much of any audience here, but I have still been writing about spiritual topics.  I mentioned a while ago (just over a year ago, evidently) that I've spent quite a bit of time writing to people online in comments for Church videos online.  Specifically, I return to the Now You Know series frequently.  It takes a lot of time.  One reason I return so often is because sometimes people have questions for which I don't receive a notification.  I hope that my words of testimony about the goodness of the restored gospel help people.

It's generally difficult or impossible to anticipate then effect our testimony can have, but I only write because I have real hope for good things to come of it.  I hope that through my words, some people will learn things that strengthen their faith--meaning, that they receive additional witness of truth from God that they recognize.  I hope that some people who really aren't familiar with the Church of Jesus Christ get at least a small taste of the great goodness in it and a sense of the work God is doing through it.  I hope that some people open their hearts a bit and, rather than echoing incorrect and hateful ideas about the Church of Jesus Christ and His disciples, they will consider that perhaps there is understanding for them to gain.  I hope that some people who have turned away from the witness they already received will find reason to reconsider their choices.  And I hope that those who are genuinely hateful and who don't open their hearts are confounded and leave so that others who visit are not distracted from inspiring messages of joy and truth.  I've surely made mistakes, but I've learned much for myself, and despite any mistakes, I really do have these hopes.  (If I didn't, there are definitely other things I could be doing with that time I've been spending.)

Last thoughts for now:
The War in Heaven has continued, and it's clear that the war rages on today.  Jesus Christ, the Anointed, will certainly win in a broad sense, but along the way the ground won or lost comes in the form of individual souls, and "the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" (Doctrine and Covenants 18:10).  The power of Christ is eternally reliable, but there's a part for us to play also in the great War; I hope that the word of my testimony is of use to some people as they use the power and grace of Christ to defeat Satan in their own lives.  I hope, as Alma taught in Mosiah 18:9, to live up to the promise I've made "to stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things, and in all places...even until death".

Crises of Faith

Sometimes fast and testimony meetings end up having themes.  Today's meeting was kind of like that, with a theme being the right way to handle a questions about the Church.  One sister bore her testimony of how she had harbored doubts for a while, but had eventually had them alleviated essentially through true doctrine.  One of my favorite parts of the Gospel is that we can pray to Heavenly Father for a witness of truth from Him, especially when troubled, and for me, the simple answer for any crisis of faith is to pray.  Once we receive a witness from the Holy Ghost, we can know whatever we really need to know.

There's something else that qualifies as a crisis of faith in a very different sense but with the same solution.  At times we may be in quite a different situation; we may know exactly what we need to do but lack the faith to do it.  The answer again is to pray for a witness of the Holy Ghost, though in this case what's more important than new knowledge is the inspiration to act on our knowledge.

Even Jesus Christ prayed for strength to do His Father's will when in a difficult situation, and when he would have preferred another way, as he prepared himself for the Atonement.  That probably doesn't qualify as a "crisis of faith" for Him, but He did show us what to do when we are in the middle of our own crises.

Last thoughts for now:
The great test of life is how we will submit ourselves to God's will.  Jesus Christ gave an amazingly powerful example to us, and we can follow it.  Prayer can bring us knowledge and inspiration from the Holy Ghost.

"He granteth unto men according to their desire"

A recurring message in the scriptures is "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened."  (Matthew 7:7-8)  When we need something from Heavenly Father, if we ask faithfully He will give it to us.  Often, he will answer our prayers through His servants here on this earth.  Sometimes, if we are truly seeking to serve Him, we are blessed to be the instruments by which He blesses others.

I certainly hope to bless others' lives.  I believe that the most important way I can help others is by sharing the restored Gospel with them.  While it's good to serve in many ways, such as by providing food or doing physical labor, if we can share true knowledge and inspire others to live according to that truth, then for the most part they will be able to provide what they need for themselves and dedicate themselves to service as well.  So I love to testify of the restored gospel.

I find myself frustrated in my desire sometimes, though.  While I would love to declare the joyous truths of the restored gospel with everyone, that isn't how God works.  He gives to those who ask.  Or, as Alma said, "O that I were an angel[...]that I might go forth[...]with a voice to shake the earth, and[...]declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth.  But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.  [...]I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire[...]yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction."  (Alma 29:1-4)

I doubt that Alma met people who intentionally sought spiritual destruction, but many who heard him definitely did choose that path through their refusal of the true gospel.  Similarly, we run into people who, while professing to live life just like anyone else, reject the glad message of the restored gospel.  Despite my great desires to share the gospel, if someone doesn't want it, I should "give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."  (Matthew 7:6, interestingly spoken by Jesus right before the passage above.)  I hesitate to call anyone "swine" or "dog", but I recognize that many will find no value in the treasures I share and will instead mock them and me.  Thus, I should reserve my great treasure for those who seek it.

I have found that even when someone asks a question about my religion they may not merit a lengthy response, depending on whether they ask with a real desire to know.  Just because someone throws out a simple question, I should not seek to provide every answer to every question.  The other day I spoke about the restored gospel for several hours with a friend, but in hindsight, I see that I was more eager to share the truths of the Restoration than he was to learn them.  The result was that, despite my testimony of the Book of Mormon, he still didn't want to read it.  Without doing so, he cannot gain a testimony for himself.  Even if he did read some of it, if he did not ponder the words and ask God "with a sincere heart, with real intent" (Moroni 10:4), he would not receive an answer from God.

Last thoughts for now:
I know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is for everyone and is a joyous, wonderful thing.  I know that I should "be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh [me] a reason of the hope that is in [me]".  Yet, I should guard the treasure of my testimony, and as I seek to serve God I should seek to share my testimony and knowledge only inasmuch as others truly seek it, just as "He granteth unto men according to their desire".  And like Alma, "I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me."  And, though it won't always happen at the speed I would like, measure by measure, those who listen to the voice of the Shepherd will be gathered into Zion.

“I should not call any man common or unclean”

(written 21 Aug 11)

Those words were spoken by the apostle Peter after he had gained crucial spiritual insight (in Acts 10:28). He considered the Gentiles to be unworthy of his spiritual attention until God showed him otherwise in a dream. Peter wasn’t solely to blame; after he taught and baptized a group of Gentiles the other disciples of Christ were incredulous until he gave them a full explanation. It was something built into their culture—they perceived some people as just being different. Even though Cornelius was a “devout man, and one that feared God with all his house, which gave much alms to the people, and prayed to God alway” (Acts 10:2), Peter would have ignored this spiritual devotion just because of circumstances. But, after being enlightened by God, Peter learned that He “is no respecter of persons; But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him.”

Yes, I know that there is only one true and living church on the earth. Yes, I know that no one outside of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds the Priesthood. We can know these things because they are true. Sometimes, though, we miss the mark and run risks with the children of our Heavenly Father who are in such great need of our help. Sometimes we alienate others who are doing their best to follow Christ.

I don’t always know how to speak with others when I want to share the restored Gospel with them. Should I testify right now? Should I just listen? Should I offer explanations? Should I distance myself from disrespectful words? I think though, that when I show respect and acknowledge others’ spiritual devotion that they’ll be more likely to recognize mine. I think that Heavenly Father appreciates their good desires and spiritual learning, even if they aren’t blessed enough yet to have been properly inspired and invited to follow Christ through the restored gospel in the restored Church. God doesn’t think we’re better than them; I doubt He sees the same “us” and “them” that we do. When a man studies scripture, even if he doesn’t understand it all, God is pleased by it. When a man prays sincerely and then goes out to do good in the world simply out of the love of his heart or the desire to obey God, God is pleased by it.

As Peter came to ask, I ask myself: “What [am] I, that I could withstand God?” (Acts 11:17) “God hath shewed me that I should not call any man common or unclean.”

Last thoughts for now:
I need to value the spiritual insight others have just as I hope they value mine. Even if I know they misunderstand some things, and even if I know that the wholly reliable source of truth is elsewhere (in the Church), I have gained understanding and perspective from people who aren’t members of the Church. I hope that they feel my love. I hope that they see in me a good example; I hope that by speaking with me they gain a better understanding of what it means to be a disciple of Christ. I hope I can see everyone as God sees them. And I hope that when all is said and done that He does not call me “common or unclean”.

A Personal Testimony of My Mission

I just heard an older couple (on the Mormon Channel--internet radio) describe the moment when they opened their mission call. It reminded me of that moment for me.

I was at Snow College, and I had let the post office know that it was coming and to watch for it (which they did). One morning, I was speaking to my mother on the phone (perhaps around 7:00 or 8:00), and when I hung up, I got a call from the post office. My mission call had arrived. I went to get it and returned. I called my mom back and let her know. She was excited. I began to read the letter.

I've long since laid little emphasis on where a missionary is called to serve. It's just not that important, really. It's interesting, but not important, because missionary work is the same work anywhere (though admittedly with fewer baptisms in some missions). When I ask someone who has just received a mission call about it, rather than ask where they are going, I ask how they felt.

As I read to my mother that I had been called to the Ivory Coast Abidjan Mission, I knew it was right. I knew it because of how I felt. It wasn't a powerful or overwhelming feeling, but instead very simple. It simply struck me as entirely natural. It was a feeling of, Yes, that's it. That's my mission. And that's all. While being so simple, it was also encouraging and exciting.

I don't think I even knew where the Ivory Coast was.

As I served there, I had times of weakness and times of strength. When I succeeded, and in the particular ways I was positioned by Heavenly Father to serve, I was certain that He had called me there to act in a role suited to my own strengths. It was important for me to serve in ways I could not have known beforehand. Sure, the work would have gone on even if I'd never been a missionary, but I was useful, genuinely useful, in advancing the work there in ways that others could not have been.

If we're faithful, we allow God to make us useful to Him, and that's about the best thing we can be.

Last thoughts for now: Even in a simple moment the Holy Ghost can testify to us. I've been very blessed to have had the opportunity to serve, and I am still blessed through service I am called to give. I know that my Heavenly Father knows me and knows what I can do. I know that He loves me and wants me to receive the great joy that comes through service.

Christ and His Church--No Substitute, No Other Way

Alma 34:39 "Yea, and I also exhort you, my brethren, that ye be watchful unto prayer continually, that ye may not be led away by the temptations of the devil, that he may not overpower you, that ye may not become his subjects at the last day; for behold, he rewardeth you no good thing."

There are those who, for some reason or another, dedicate themselves to tearing down other peoples' faith. Specifically, there are people who go to great lengths seeking statements, bits of history, or scriptural passages that they expect members of the Church to be unable to explain. Thus, they think they have evidence that would disprove the true Church of Jesus Christ.

We have heard them and their arguments. We felt the darkness seeking to creep into our hearts. And we have been faithful, knowing that the testimony that we have received from our Heavenly Father is strong enough that we can continue to worship and serve Him, even if we don't have a perfect explanation for every accusation made.

He would be an unreasonable God if He expected us to understand everything, to gain every iota of spiritual knowledge, before setting out to really live our lives based on that knowledge. Rather, He asks us to have faith, believing in Him even though we don't see Him, and being true to the Church He has given us. As Alma put it, "Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true." (Alma 32:21)

Many years ago, while practicing at the piano in the Ephraim Institute of Religion, I came across Hymn #124. I was struck with and comforted by the words of the second verse in particular: "Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake To guide the future as He has the past. Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake; All now mysterious shall be bright at last." There will be many things that I will not fully understand even until the day that I die. Even so, God will one day teach me all things. Even in this life, I continue to gain greater knowledge, and I have felt silly before after coming to understand simple truth that answers the questions that previously sowed doubt. For now, I have an undeniable witness from the Holy Ghost that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is indeed the true Church that God organized on the earth to bless His children. I receive this witness again and again as I am taught in that Church, as I read the Book of Mormon and other scripture, and as I listen to the inspired words of modern prophets.

And after moments of doubt, when we truly exercise faith we then return to the scriptures. We read the Book of Mormon and feel the Spirit testifying to us. We feel the Comforter, and with healed hearts we return to the work of God.

Some have let their hope and confidence be shaken. They have let things they couldn't explain drive them away from what they once believed. These are, in fact, often those who are the most ardent in propagating the attacks on and misinformation about the Church of Christ. I feel for them, because I know that they have lost something. They frequently still seek to serve and know Christ, and that is good. However, I know what the Church has done for me, and I know that those who have left the Church have lost something vital to our lives.

This is what I would ask them: If you would have me leave the Church that has given me a knowledge of my Savior, the Church that has given me such great opportunity to serve my God and my fellow brothers and sisters on earth, the Church that has allowed me to learn not only from living prophets but also from common disciples who struggle along just as I do, the Church that has given me a desire to repent and live like my Savior, the Church that has helped me to understand the written word of God, the Church that has given me a knowledge of who I am and why I exist and what I ought to do in life, the Church that has provided me with an unfortunately rare understanding of the nature of God Himself, the Church that has taught me to value my family, the Church that has taught me and thus saved me from so much pain and suffering by helping me to avoid sin, the Church that does so many good things in the world that aren't even seen by the general public, the Church that allows me to assume my role as a son of God and serve using his authority as I strive to become like Him, the Church that has shown me the great mercy of my Father toward someone as undeserving as myself, the Church that has taught me to trust in my God and readily obey His wise counsel, the Church that has helped me bit by bit to not just know about Jesus Christ but also to truly know Him, the Church through which God has given me every good thing in my life! If you would have me leave this Church, I ask you: What do you give me in return?!? What do you expect to give me in exchange for my membership in the kingdom of God on earth that can possibly fill that void?

Jesus Christ is "the way, the truth, and the life: (and) no man cometh unto the Father, but by (Him)." (John 14:6) "...there is no other way, nor means whereby man can be saved, only in and through Christ." (Alma 38:9) Jesus Christ leads his true Church on the earth, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and nothing could ever replace it in my life. Despite my own faults, I will ever seek to de a true disciple of the Savior of the world and I will teach, learn, serve, and worship in His inescapably good Church.


Last thoughts for now:
I am so very grateful to my Father in Heaven for all that He has given me. I will never be able to adequately express gratitude for these things, but I know from where my blessings come. I am grateful for other children of God who seek to help me, even if they feel that I am in error. I will do my best to testify with humility and charity to all who listen that God has restored His Church and His truth, and that through them we can receive all the peace and happiness that He has to offer.

Knowing Now That He is Our Savior

Yesterday we finished our last night of the production Savior of the World. I believe my favorite scene was when I, as the apostle John, witnesses Peter explaining an important truth to Thomas, who was distressed from having not personally seen the Savior when so many others around him had. Here is a bit of the dialogue, slightly abbreviated:

Peter: I'm sorry you didn't see Him.

Thomas: What I said about believing--

John: We understand, Thomas. You want to see Him with your own eyes.

Thomas: So I can be a witness!

Peter: You are a witness. Look, Thomas, we did see Him, but that is not enough for any of us.

Thomas: What? Peter: Plenty of people saw Him in life, watched His miracles and heard His teachings, and yet some of them were among those who condemned Him to the cross. To see Him, Thomas--to see Him as He is, for who He is--we must look with our hearts...It isn't by flesh and blood that we know, but by what we feel...And one day, when you do see Him, you will not know any better than you know now that He lives, because you already feel--(pointing to Thomas' heart)--here.

Thomas learns a valuable lesson here. It almost brings tears to my eyes as I consider this beautiful truth. It seems that this dialogue is partially based on words from the final talk given by Elder Bruce R. McConkie: "I am one of his witnesses, and in a coming day I shall feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears. But I shall not know any better then than I know now that he is God’s Almighty Son, that he is our Savior and Redeemer, and that salvation comes in and through his atoning blood and in no other way."

I think also of Alma 34:34. "Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world." Now is the time to gain a knowledge of Christ. If we reject Him, or reject that opportunity, what reason do we have to believe that we will be any different later? Perhaps some think that it will be easy to believe in Christ after they have died and seen what is next. However, we will not be so different in the Spirit World from what we are now.

Last thoughts for now:

Now is the time to gain a knowledge of Christ. He is our Savior. He was and is a perfect example and teacher. I know it! To see Him face to face will surely be the most humbling experience of my existence, but I am grateful that I have a testimony from God about my Savior now.

We Know

It's often taken for granted that nobody knows the purpose of life, and that nobody knows if God really exists.

It's not true. We know.

By "we", I mean members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Before being baptized, a person should have a testimony from God that He exists and that the Church is His true church. I realize that it sadly doesn't always happen that way; some people somehow get baptized without seeking and receiving a testimony (as I have addressed already in another post). However, true latter-day saints know with certainty that God loves them and they know why God created the earth and put them on it.

Just today on the radio I heard someone saying that "nobody knows that God exists". Well, I know He does. I know why I'm here, I know what He wants for me, and I know what He wants me to do in order to receive it.

That knowledge is a wonderful thing.

Last thoughts for now: This is the sort of knowledge that needs to be shared. Everyone deserves to know like we do.

They Shouldn't Have Been Baptized

I've been a full-time missionary before, so I know how it feels. We set goals, we worked with people, we knew the truth of the Gospel and the Church and we wanted good things for others. Thus, we wanted people to be baptized. We taught them and invited them to be baptized, and they accepted and were baptized. Between those last two steps, there's an interview. The purpose of the interview is to ensure that the person is ready to make this vital covenant. Some people shouldn't make it past this interview but somehow slip through.

Maybe that doesn't sound like a problem to some people. Some missionaries don't see any baptisms during their entire mission, and even those who do still want to see more. Is it a bad thing if some people are baptized when they're not ready?

Absolutely.

In Moroni 7:39, Mormon makes it clear that some people should not be in the Church. "But behold, my beloved brethren, I judge better things of you, for I judge that ye have faith in Christ because of your meekness; for if ye have not faith in him then ye are not fit to be numbered among the people of his church."

That's not to say that the Gospel isn't right and true for everyone, because it is. It doesn't mean that Jesus didn't die for everyone or that God doesn't love everyone, because They did and do. But people should not join the Church until they have sufficient faith in Christ and have made changes in their lives.

Mormon himself addressed this issue in the previous chapter (Moroni 6:1-3):
"And now I speak concerning baptism. Behold, elders, priests, and teachers were baptized; and they were not baptized save they brought forth fruit meet that they were worthy of it.
Neither did they receive any unto baptism save they came forth with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, and witnessed unto the church that they truly repented of all their sins.
And none were received unto baptism save they took upon them the name of Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end."

I've seen it too many times. Maybe it's because a missionary wants to get one more baptism before he leaves, or maybe it's just general over-zealousness. People get baptized without truly having received a testimony from God of Jesus Christ, the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Without that testimony, they don't have much reason to stay around. Sometimes they don't even last long enough to be confirmed.

Making and keeping covenants is the key to progressing toward eternal life. It's a tragedy for people to make serious covenants like baptism but not understand what they're doing. It's a tragedy for people to make serious covenants like baptism and then turn away from the truth.

Does that mean that kids shouldn't be baptized when they're eight years old? No. It means that parents need to teach their children well so that they'll be ready.

I don't think anyone fully understands how important their baptismal covenants are when they get baptized, but it is vital that we make covenants of our own free will, with knowledge of what we're doing, and with a real knowledge. When that isn't the case for some people, they're doing it for the wrong reasons and it hurts them.

Last thoughts for now:
The Gospel is for everyone. Baptism is for everyone. The Holy Ghost is for everyone. Temple ordinances are for everyone. The Atonement of Jesus Christ and covenants are for everyone, but we have to make ourselves ready.

A Different Testimony

I love bearing my testimony of Christ, the Chuch, the prophets, and the Book of Mormon. Aside from my "regular" testimony, I realized two things as a missionary that while not as directly spiritual are nonetheless evidence that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church of God:

1. There is almost unbelievable opposition to the Church. That might not seem to indicate that the Church is good and true, but consider the opposition's viewpoint. Against whom does Satan fight? Against whom will he inspire others to fight?

2. The restored Gospel is being preached by immature 19- and 20-year-olds, and the Church is actually growing! Really, missionaries are almost kids. I know because I was one! Yeah, some are pretty mature (I thought I was, for my age), but how mature and wise can a person be at 20 years old? By all rights, such young missionaries should have crippled the Church years ago. Instead, those with "ears to hear" are baptized by the thousands.

Last thoughts for now:
These two ideas are not vital to my testimony, but they strengthen it at least to some degree. However, nothing beats the witness of the Holy Ghost.