A "Testimony", or Faith and Knowledge?

I think that members of the Church of Jesus Christ sometimes use the word "testimony" in a way that is less helpful than we think.  We talk about a "testimony" as if it's a thing we carry around with us.  In scripture, I don't think I've ever found that kind of usage.  Rather, what we refer to as a "testimony" is known simply as either faith or knowledge.

What is a testimony?  It is the act of testifying--of speaking or otherwise sharing what we know through personal experience.  This is the meaning both in law and in scripture.  Rather than being a thing to be possessed, it is an action.

When someone gives you a reprimand, do you "have a reprimand"?  When God gives us a testimony of some truth, what we have as a result is greater faith and knowledge.

Rather than saying, "I have a testimony of X," when we say, "I know X", the very action of saying such a thing is our testimony.  Rather than stating that someone's "testimony" isn't as strong as it used to be, is it not much more direct to say that their faith is less strong than it was?  If they're not sharing their faith and knowledge with others, at least intermittently, then by definition, it isn't a testimony.

I don't think the saints' common usage is evil, but I do think it is harder for people to understand, whether they're outside or inside the Church.  Though it may sound paradoxical to suggest, it's better for us to refer to a testimony as what is given, rather than something that is possessed.

Here's what scripture tells us: Peter encouraged us to "grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."  (2 Peter 3:18)  In a revelation given through Joseph Smith, we were similarly told, "ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth." (Doctrine and Covenants 50:40)  Helaman related that "the Lamanites began to grow exceedingly in the knowledge of their God".  (Helaman 6:34)  King Benjamin said that as we remember God's greatness and humble ourselves before Him, "ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true."  (Mosiah 4:12)  In Alma 32, Alma used a great parable to teach that as we nourish the word of God in ourselves, as it grows, out faith will increase and become knowledge.

According to Alma, sometimes our faith, in some respects, becomes "dormant" as we gain knowledge.  But even as our knowledge increases, we must continue to increase in faith, because faith includes action; through faith we demonstrate that knowledge of truth really means something in our lives.

I don't mean to be too condemning; the common usage of "testimony" as a noun that suggests something that can be possessed appears even in the current temple recommend interview questions.  But I do think there's a better way to express truth.

Last thoughts for now:

I hope that my testimony to others is powerful; that is to say, I hope that I am able to testify powerfully through the power of the Holy Ghost, who will testify with me as I speak truth.  I also hope that my faith and knowledge will continue to grow, year by year.  I hope that when I speak of any of that, those around me will understand with clarity.

A Short Series on Love

I have had several thoughts related to love bouncing around in my head for some time now, and I’ve wanted to add them to my blog here.  Thus, in the posts that follow, here’s a short series about the meaning and impact of the ideas encompassed in that simple, four-letter word.

One Message for the Entire World

My wife has an embroidery machine and makes good use of it.  While I was attending graduate school for my Master's degree, I generally carried my computer with me in a briefcase-style black, fabric bag that had a flap at the top of one side that is roughly four inches wide.  At some point I determined that I wanted my wide to embroider a message on it; this message would be visible to everyone as I walked from place to place, as I sat doing homework, as I waited for the bus, as I sat on the bus, and essentially as I did anything else.

I had pondered something: If I had an opportunity to say one thing to anyone I met, or to the entire world all at once, what should I say?  This embroidered message would serve as well as any to communicate with the world, especially given that I would never have a chance to actually speak with many people who saw me (perhaps driving by in a vehicle or merely being part of a large group that I would have no reason to address verbally).  What message would be the most important?  In accordance with principles of good marketing (I assume, given that I'm not a true student of marketing), any message must be short to get and hold people's attention for the duration of the message.  In any event there was only so much space on the flap where the message was to be put.  So, I needed something that was, as the pithy expression goes, “short and sweet”.  And in a world where so many ideas are promoted and so many of them are misguided or simply false, I wanted my message to echo core a truth.

If the world is to know one thing, there are perhaps several candidates, including the knowledge that we are all children of God.  More specifically, we are children of an all-loving God.  His love is manifest the most in the existence of our Savior, Jesus Christ (see John 3:16).  As a follower of Jesus Christ, I have promised something: “...the second [great commandment] is ... Thou shalt love thy neighbour” (Matthew 22:39), and my “neighbor” is everyone else on the earth.

I want to be a good brother to God’s children and a good disciple of Christ, so, I chose my message and my wife placed it on the flap of my bag:

I love you.

I chose a simple, light-blue font that I hoped would be visible from quite a distance.  And I carried that message about, from day to day, visible to anyone and everyone.

The prospect of giving even one person such a potentially powerful and intimate message can be daunting, and surely, despite all of my best efforts, I do not always succeed in showing love as I ought to.  But as I carried my case and message, it struck me that I really was giving people a promise, and it was no small promise.  It’s easy to say, “I will love everyone,” when we’re in a small room occupied by only a few people we already like.  It’s easy to say, “I will love the entire world,” when we don’t have to and in any practical sense cannot demonstrate it.  It was something else to physically carry that message and promise to hundreds and thousands of people, most of whom I wouldn’t even be able to see or acknowledge, either at all or perhaps for only a few seconds in passing.

In giving anyone and everyone that message, I potentially exposed myself to ridicule, but a far greater concern to me was that anyone I saw could call me out on the promise.  Anyone could say, “Prove it!” and to be true to myself, to them, and to God, I would have to really act and speak in accordance with the words I was professing.  I was highly conscious of this.  I knew that if I were to say it, I would have to live it.  And I was willing, because it really is crucial for a disciple of Christ.

Realistically, I didn’t expect that “calling out” and proving to happen often.  In practice, only two people ever commented verbally to me about the message, and in both cases I was caught off guard and I failed to clarify that it was my message to the world, as opposed to my wife’s message to me.  In a funny sort of way, it wasn’t immediately easy to speak about.  I think that if I had the opportunity again, it would now be easier for me to say that yes, I love you, and even if I do so imperfectly I’m determined to do so truly.

While almost no one ever spoke to me about the message, I know that many people saw it.  I think that it brought a smile to some.  Perhaps it caused some people to ponder.  I have to assume that it was also offensive in a way to some, though I certainly couldn’t feel bad about that.  I wonder if, maybe, there might have been people who saw it who really needed to receive that message from someone.  Did I pass anyone who was feeling alone in the world, who felt less so for seeing me?  Was there anyone in the lower depths of despair, perhaps even suicidal, who rose a bit higher for knowing that at least one person out there loved them?  I don’t know.  I hope that my message was felt and helped people.

I later heard mention of a bus driver who had a habit of announcing over the P.A. system that, “Even if no one else loves you, I love you,” and I was both touched by the overtness and glad that I had chosen my message.

When I decided to leave a final message in my social media profile, I was able to make it longer, but I began and ended with a slightly longer version of those same words: I love you.

Last thoughts for now:

I love you.  I promise to show it.  I will fail in that promise at times, but I believe that there are few things more important that I can say or show, so I will do what I can to say it and show it.

Not “But”; Rather, “And”

People use and misuse the word “love” quite a bit, and there are a great many related thoughts.  It’s easily one of the most common themes in poetry and song.  Among those related thoughts are some related to homosexuality; some people are attracted to others of the same sex, and some people act physically according to those desires, and the word “love” is often used in conjunction with either.  Conversely, members of the restored Church of Jesus Christ are taught to show love to others but are also taught principles about sexual morality that do not align with common ideas about homosexuality.

Sometimes groups of people argue about it.  Some say, “If you love me, you must accept me as I am, and in turn, you must accept what I do,” even though they are actively promoting behavior and ideas that are contrary to God’s will.  In turn, I have many times heard or seen the statement that as disciples of Christ, we are to “love the sinner but hate the sin.”

That doesn’t always sit quite right with me.  In a sense, it’s true, and it’s essentially in accordance with what God has said in scripture, but hatred is seemingly opposed to what God is all about.  John (in John 4:8, 16) repeated a short but very strong statement: “God is love.”  (Emphasis added.)

If love is so central to godliness, ought we to use the theme of “love sinners but hate sin”?  Is there a better message to send, and one that is less able to be misinterpreted or twisted into a message of hatred?

Yes, there is.  President Dalling H. Oaks highlighted it in a general conference address in October 2019.  The better expression is simply this: Love God, and love everyone else.  Love God first and foremost.

These ideas were taught by the Savior Himself.  He was asked what the greatest (or most important) commandment was.  In Matthew 22:37–39, He answered, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

President Oaks cautioned that, “our zeal to keep this second commandment must not cause us to forget the first”.  Indeed, the Savior’s response was about a question of a single, greatest commandment, and He only somewhat incidentally chose to speak of the second.  President Oaks’ strong implication was that, although we may naturally feel love and affection for some people, it is more important for us to follow that first and greatest commandment than it is for us to do anything related to the second.  It is most important for us to show love for God by seeking to know and do His will.  As the Savior said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”  (John 14:15)

So rather than using the expression “love the sinner but hate the sin”, perhaps we should instead use one that has a clear focus on only love: “Love God, and then love everyone else.”

Last thoughts for now:

As I’ve said before, I can make no claim to love others perfectly, but I know that determining to show that love is an essential part of being a disciple of Christ.  I hope to live in such a way that demonstrates my love of God and others.  I hope for that love to grow and be real.

Infinite Love; Infinite Pain

Loving other people opens our hearts not only to joy but also to pain.  I think we all learn this lesson multiple times in life.  I’ve learned it when being rejected by a fiancée, when seeing people I care about turn away from the Church of Jesus Christ, when family members are insensitive or deliberately distant, when I’ve given something of myself or something else I value but the gift was rejected, and in many smaller cases.  Prophets feel this pain for the sorrow of the world.

Does infinite love mean being potentially infinitely hurt?  The Savior loves us and certainly has felt pain for us.  He felt infinite pain during His infinite Atonement for us; perhaps the depth of that pain was really possible because of His infinite love for us.

Last thoughts for now:

I don’t think I have particularly deep conclusions about this, but I think that as we grow in love, we also, in a sense, grow in our capacity to be hurt.  Yet, I think that as we grow in love and thus become more like God the Father and Jesus Christ, we also gain more of an eternal perspective that helps frame that pain in the context of eternity.  God wouldn’t have given us His plan if the joy wasn’t worth all the pain.  I expect to be hurt at times, but it’s okay.

My Own Story (a short version)

I often like to inquire with others about their beliefs and the foundation of their faith, if they profess any.  I find value in what they say.  I believe it helps open up mutually beneficial conversation.  I learn things from people, and I hope that they'll want to hear from me, because after being given so much from God I certainly have things to share.  The other day, someone in a video comments section asked me about my own experiences.  They didn't ask specifics, so I have to summarize a bit.  I doubt that anyone will ever want to read a full biography that would be drastically longer, but here's a short version of my history with my religious faith and knowledge:

I was born into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  My parents were divorced when I was three years old.  I was baptized at the standard age of eight years old.  As I grew up, I had many positive (if probably very typical) experiences with the Church, including study, friendship, and service opportunities.  Another part of being in the Church was commonly eating food from the Bishop's Storehouse that my mother didn't have to pay for.  When I got older and went off to college, I got a bit lazy when it came to religion.  For example, sometimes I just didn't go to church on Sundays, for no particular reason.  All young latter-day saint men were expected to serve as missionaries upon turning nineteen, but as I thought about it, I knew I didn't want to go just because other people expected me to.  So I went back to college for another year, and then began to serve.  I also began to want more of a relationship with my father, and at my request he supported me financially when I left to serve as a full-time missionary.

Both before and after my missionary service, at times I came across information about Church procedures or Church history, perhaps relating to individual leaders, that seemed strange.  Broadly speaking, I found a way to be patient with not completely understanding some things immediately.  One morning, when I was 18 or 19 and I was playing hymns on the piano in an empty classroom in the Institute of Religion at the college, some words in the second verse of "Be Still, My Soul" really struck me: "Be still, my soul, thy God doth undertake / To guide the future as He has the past. / Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake / All now mysterious shall be bright at last."  As the years have passed, I've had opportunities here and there to learn more or gain better insights from people who have shared them with me, and many things that felt mysterious or strange before turned out to not be worrisome at all.  When dealing with information from opponents of the Church, I also realized that, at least partially because they don't have the Church's best interests in mind, they sometimes promote information that is partially or wholly untrue, but even when only relying on reliable facts they frequently choose the worst possible conclusion from available data instead of the best possible conclusion.  I have found that while seeking truth and answers to questions, sometimes it comes quickly and sometimes not, but I always eventually learn more and I find great reason to trust what God has given me.

Trust in God is one of the great life lessons I learned as a missionary, but I also became much more able to recognize God's influence in my life, particularly through the Holy Ghost.  When at the missionary training center, our teachers (former missionaries themselves) taught us about how important it was to help people to recognize the Holy Ghost as we taught them.  I remember struggling with this; I wasn't sure that I knew how to do this.  I asked one of my teachers about it, and he suggested that because I had grown up with the Church, perhaps I was accustomed to it so much that I sometimes took it for granted.  He spoke to reassure me, and I wasn't fully satisfied, but I hoped to figure it out.  Several days later, as I was being taught again by a different teacher, I thought to myself, "The Spirit of God is very strong here today."  And then I realized what I had just done; I had listened to God in my heart and felt Him there, and recognized it.  As I did so, I realized that it was indeed something I had felt and known many times in my life.  I then gladly taught others about it and have enjoyed God's joy and peace not only during my mission but also many, many times since.

I will share one particular experience I had with the Holy Ghost during my mission.  I lived and taught in the city of Yamoussoukro for five months.  One day, while walking through a corridor of a housing area, I looked to the side and noticed one of the housing units and its number.  (I think it was 157 or 152, but it's been two decades ago and I don't have a great memory.)  That was all, at first; I just noticed it.  Some time later--maybe a few days or weeks--my companion and I had some time available in the evening, and he asked me what I thought we should do.  I mentioned the door I'd seen before and suggested that we could visit the people who lived there.  So we did.  Either that evening or upon making an appointment and returning (I don't remember which), we were greeted by the couple who lived there and we taught the first missionary lesson to them.  The husband was somehow employed by a local church and accommodated us more out of patient courtesy than anything else, and in the end didn't seem particularly interested.  I imagine that he later discouraged his wife; in any event, we didn't end up teaching them further and I don't know the end of her story.  But I do remember very well what happened during the lesson.  We spoke of God, of Jesus Christ, of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon, and then of the Holy Ghost.  After teaching, I turned to the woman and asked her (in French, the local national language), "What do you feel right now?"  She paused, with an almost troubled or slightly perplexed look on her face, and I asked her again, "What do you feel inside right now?"  With little more pause, she answered with these exact words: "La joie du cœur."  Translated into English, that means, "joy of heart."  Her husband looked directly at her with evident surprise.  I don't think she was even literate, but she knew what she felt inside.  I told her it was the Holy Ghost, and I knew that she knew that we had spoken truth from God.

One other major life lesson I learned as a missionary was that God is merciful.  I have long considered myself the most blessed person I know, and I realize that while I've tried to do good things in life, nothing I've done could merit the many blessings I've received.  I'm blessed far beyond what I feel I deserve by my own worthiness.

In the decades following my mission, I've had a great many other experiences that continue to shape my faith and knowledge.  I've seen other people grow in faith or abandon faith, I've seen people die, I've witnessed the Church as a worldwide body with the same spirit of fellowship and Spirit of God everywhere, I've had glimpses into Church administration, and I've learned more about Church history.  I have had very difficult trials that would require much more space to write about.  I've been blessed to know many disciples of Christ and many other good people across the United States and the world; I've been served by them and I've done what I could to serve them.  I've seen the Church help people with material needs, and I've been blessed to be able to give now instead of receiving.  I have had witness after witness from God about the truth of the gospel and his desire for me to participate in His Church, despite my many failings and the many failings I've witnessed in other people even as we try to follow our Savior.  I have hoped to be of service to the people around me and I've certainly hoped to show love in everything I do.  I think I'm learning that love better; it sure means a lot to me to learn it.  I am happy to extend an offer of support to anyone, and if you ever think I can help you in any way, whether to answer questions or even just as a listening ear.  If I were without you in person, I would offer a hug also, but alas, that's not possible over the Internet.  But I hope you know that I find myself with the best of reasons to follow the two great commandments, and though I can't express it as perfectly as God can, I am happy to say that I love you, and I hope that you seek and receive God's greatest blessings.

Last thoughts for now:
To anyone who ever cares enough to read these things, please know that I share them with the utmost sincerity and a real, if imperfect, desire to share truth and love.  Reach out to me any time, and as a disciple of Christ, I will reach back out to you.

An Anonymous Act of Sincere and Needed Love

 A long time ago--it must have been in the nineties--I remember seeing a video clip on a TV show that, as I have remembered it, strikes me as one of the most beautiful acts I've ever seen.  Beautiful in a way, that is; I have a hard time thinking of what the best descriptive word could be.  Good?  Loving?  I think it was just shown as part of some series that showed a lot of video clips that fit some sort of theme.  Here's what happened:

There had been a bad car accident, with a survivor stuck partly inside a car.  Perhaps there was more than one person involved, but if so, they were either killed or ejected or safe.  I believe the accident was bad enough that the "jaws of life" rescue tool had to be used to remove the person.  The video clip was very simple; it showed the man with probably only his head, shoulder, and one arm extending outside the vehicle.  The man was clearly in enormous pain and almost but not quite senseless--barely able to speak and mostly unable to move.  Because of the awkward angle he was in after the accident, the extended part of his body was also hanging very uncomfortably over the edge of the vehicle.  This was how he was found, to the best of my recollection.

But by the time a rescue team arrived with a video camera, someone else had already arrived to help in what way he could.  An unidentified second man, seeing the accident victim in great distress and pain, had positioned himself underneath the victim's extended body both to lift it slightly, relieving pain, and to provide the reassurance of close physical touch.  I mostly remember seeing that the victim was utterly defeated by the accident and totally at the mercy of the world--totally powerless and in great pain and desperately seeking relief.  And I remember seeing the other man's face; perhaps the best words I could use to describe his expression would be "concerned" and "intent".  He seemed to be able to feel the anguish of the victim, and he gave no indication of having any concern other than helping the man who was in need.  His presence, and possibly some few words, told the seriously injured man that he wasn't alone.

I suppose it touches me so much, even when poorly remembered after so many years, partly because physical contact means so much to me, but also because I love the idea that we serve and support each other, especially in times of dire need.

The TV show noted that the injured man was eventually freed, and that the mysterious "good Samaritan" disappeared without being identified.  And that strikes a deep chord within me also; I am always glad when I'm able to render a service in anonymity so that I know without any doubt that it was truly a selfless act, with no other reward.

I still remember it, decades after seeing it once on TV.

Last thoughts for now:
In a way, I hope to be that unidentified man for others in the future, many times, even if their distress is not so great as being severely injured and trapped.  I hope to be able to do good for others, and to do it anonymously when possible.  I hope to gain greater love through doing it, and to feel the joy of that love.  I'm grateful for the Church of Jesus Christ that gives me service opportunities.

Practical Preparedness - So Evidently Helpful

Well over a decade ago (in December 2008!) I wrote here about practical preparedness.  At the time, the idea of great need striking huge chunk's of the population felt more hypothetical--something that we expected to see in the future, and perhaps the distant future.

In the last year, we've seen it quite a bit.  Just under a year ago, a global pandemic changed life for essentially everyone in the world.  It was fairly striking to see some of the grocery store shelves empty, such as those for things like canned goods and flour.  Certain high-demand items were rationed to a degree, with limits on purchases, including milk, eggs, and especially--of all things--toilet paper.

We've lived through several other moments with similar circumstances.  A country in a distant part of the world recently experienced a coup, causing great economic difficulty.  I saw a headline tonight about millions of people in Texas lacking drinking water somehow because of a recent heavy snowstorm.

But some of us are well-prepared for difficult times.  A local elders quorum president commented today about being comfortable if water became unavailable because he has 100 gallons stored in his home.

I've never felt any need to justify my actions to others when I'm following prophetic guidance.  But it is good when I am able to experience the blessing of faith turning to knowledge; it is perhaps comforting in a way to see the evidence that would readily justify the words of living prophets.

Last thoughts for now:
I'm grateful for the counsel of prophets in the Church of Jesus Christ.  I know that following them will always lead to greater peace.  I know that doing so brings very practical blessings.