He Maketh His Sun to Rise

I've said before that the most instructive part of my life is being a parent.  As I try to be a good father, I gain insight on my Heavenly Father, which is important because I'm trying to emulate Him and His Son.

I give a fair amount of thought to how I (and we, including my wife) want to do things.  We have certain rules in the house, of course, and I take a certain attitude toward my kids in which I try to treat them with the same intelligence and respect that I would show to anyone else.  I try to grant my children responsibility for their actions so that they can learn from them.  I try to avoid coercing them.  I try to encourage talking when there's a problem.  I aim to encourage good behavior and not encourage bad behavior.  My wife and I do pretty well with it.  Granted, I'm unfortunately lazy sometimes and with my imperfections I make a host of mistakes, but I have some practices that I've thought through and I want to keep.

I want my children to understand consequences because I want them to know why they should make good choices.  Perhaps, though, imposed consequences are not always the best idea.  Recently I again adjusted my outlook on parenting with the thought that there are going to be certain things that I do for my kids regardless of what they do beforehand.  For example, I want to read to my kids before they go to bed, observe their night-time prayers, and sing to them as they lie down.  Sometimes I've deprived them of the experience because it was late, they took too long getting ready for bed, because their room was messy, or a combination of those reasons.  Really, though, I don't want to deprive them (or myself) of those things.

The thought is mirrored in a scriptural passage that has long been one of my favorites.  In 3 Nephi 12:44-45 (and similarly in Matthew 5:44-45) Jesus is teaching about love and how we can be more like our Father in Heaven: "But behold I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father who is in heaven; for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good."

I suppose that's what we call unconditional love.  From what I'm told, that's the kind of love we're supposed to show to our family (and everybody else, too).

Last thoughts for now:
There are still going to be circumstances in my parenting when conditions apply and the kids will miss out on something good because they failed to meet a prerequisite.  I want to show them true love,  though, so that they really know that I love them.  I want them to know that if they "turn away, or disobey, or go astray" ("Teacher, Do You Love Me?" -- Children's Songbook, page 178) I will still love them and be ready to help them just like my Father in Heaven is always there for me no matter how often I make dumb mistakes.  I need to show them that love.  So at bedtime I will make my song to sing for both the kids who are behaving well and the kids who aren't, just as God "maketh His sun to rise".

Exact Words

Some members of the Church have a certain tradition or habit that really isn't necessary, and that I consequently avoid.  When blessing a baby and giving him or her a name, I often hear the wording like this: "and to give him a name by which he will be known on the records of the Church."  It's simply not dictated by any Church book of instructions.  It doesn't hurt, but I don't want to confuse things that are necessary and things that aren't, so I never use those words.  And I hope that people notice it and realize that they don't need to use them either.  That way we can focus on the traditions and elements of ordinances which are truly important and necessary.

Much of the time, priesthood ordinances do not use exact wording.  Any holder of the Melchizedek Priesthood, when reading the instructions for ordinances, will find key elements but rarely exact words.

But sometimes exact wording is important.  Temple ordinances, for example, use exact wording.  One thing I wonder is, other than the fact that the words have been prescribed for us, are the exact words absolutely necessary?  Perhaps not, and we know that temple ordinances have changed at times, but there are good reasons for using specific words.  A major reason is that there is much to learn from what is said during those ordinances.

Outside of the temple, I can think of two occasions when exact wording is dictated by scripture (in Doctrine and Covenants Section 20 and also in the book of Moroni): during a baptism, and when we renew our baptismal covenants with the sacrament.  Why do we use exact words then?  Is it because those exact words are necessary for the ordinance?  It seems clear that such is not the case when we review the wording used by Alma as he baptized Helam and others: "Helam, I baptize thee, having authority from the Almighty God, as a testimony that ye have entered into a covenant to serve him until you are dead as to the mortal body; and may the Spirit of the Lord be poured out upon you; and may he grant unto you eternal life, through the redemption of Christ, whom he has prepared from the foundation of the world."

I think along with the advantage of learning from specific wording comes the advantage of not having to think through it on the spot--we don't have to figure out what to say every week during the sacrament.  What seems to be the most important reason to me, however, is that by using the same words every time we don't distract ourselves from the ordinance itself.  Too often during regular prayers, the speaker turns to flowery and profuse speech.  If the person performing the baptism or blessing the sacrament wanted to "make it good", they could easily get lost in language that didn't really add to the ordinance at all.  Some people would even be tempted to praise the speaker, again being distracted from the ordinance itself.  The exact wording provides simplicity and focus when that is exactly what is needed as we make and renew covenants with God.

Last thoughts for now:
Making and keeping covenants with our Heavenly Father will bring us back to live with Him.  Sometimes, exactness and precision is required so that we can be most fully blessed.  I want to be precise when such precision is warranted, to keep learning throughout my life, and to stay focused on the simplicity of essential ordinances and covenants.

A Mighty Change of Heart

All three speakers in church  today taught about reverence.  It's a theme that the bishop has addressed more than once recently.  The talks were very much of an instructive nature, with particular direction given, such as statements that we should arrive early to our meetings and not carry on casual conversation in the chapel.  In other words, we were told to do something because we (as a whole) need to change what we are doing.

Without a doubt, the following are true:
Only some who heard were really listening.
Only some who really listened identified themselves as needing to change.
Only some who knew they needed to change made a determination to take specific action to cause that change.

I taught the teachers today about the change of heart we need to experience as we give Jesus Christ's Atonement power in our lives.  We read scriptures that taught us that we must have "a broken heart and a contrite spirit" (2 Nephi 2:7), "godly sorrow [that] worketh repentance to salvation" (2 Corinthians 7:10), and "a mighty change in[...]our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually." (Mosiah 5:2)  Though I don't claim to have experienced this entirely, I have felt the power of the Christ's Atonement in my life as it has changed my disposition to no longer desire things I used to desire, and it's wonderful.  I intend to keep pursuing that change.

It seems to me (though I don't want to misjudge anyone) that many people enter into patterns of living that are comfortable to them and then don't take action to change in any way.  I cannot accept such a thing in my life; I know that I need to change because I'm imperfect and I need to repent.  That's a very broad statement, but I do hear specific words from church leaders or church members, and I feel specific guidance from the Holy Ghost, that make it clear that I need to do something I'm not already doing, start doing something that I'm not doing, or do something differently.  I'd better be changing; if I'm not changing, I'm not progressing--I'm not learning!

Sometimes it's hard to hear that what we're doing is wrong.  Sometimes it's actually very hard to hear that the way we do things somehow *isn't* the best way of doing things.  We have to be of a mind to take instruction willingly and give up habits or methods to which we have become attached, thus possessing the so-important "broken heart and a contrite spirit".  We have to give up our desires and our attachments, and that's why we are told multiple times in scripture that a broken heart and a contrite spirit is the type of sacrifice that we need to make.  (Psalms 51:17, 3 Nephi 9:20, Doctrine and Covenants 59:8)  To be willing to make that sacrifice is to be teachable; it's being humble.  Showing that willingness and humility definitely falls into the category of "pursuits that are difficult but worthwhile".

It can be very hard, but it ought to be hard.  Otherwise, it wouldn't be a "mighty" change of heart.

Last thoughts for now:
I'm grateful for God's mercy in teaching me so much in the past and I trust Him to continually direct me in His wisdom.  Sometimes it will be a stinging blow to my pride, but every time He gives me direction I know it will be for my own benefit.  I hope to often make the sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit.  I believe in learning and growing.  I know that it is only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that we can repent and be like Him.

Same Old, Same Old

Sometimes people complain that they always hear the same thing in church, or they don't want to watch General Conference because "they always say the same stuff". I've known people who didn't see the need to read scripture more than once.

Well, yes, we do hear the same thing over and over again. I know of five reasons why:

1. Each time we receive a particular message, we may learn more if we invite the Holy Ghost's influence and have readied ourselves by practicing more basic principles. Many people have had the experience of learning something new from a passage of scripture they've read multiple times before. We hear things repeated because there is deeper knowledge to gain.

2. Simply hearing the truth from the prophets will bring us the Holy Ghost and ready us for personal revelation on any topic. Many people have listened to a witness of Christ and received personal revelation for something that is important but unrelated to what is being spoken.

3. We haven't really listened yet. So often we hear the standard answers: pray, read your scriptures, go to church. Are we doing these things? I tend to think I'm a good person, but I know that I have often forgotten to pray in the morning and I sometimes struggle to read my scriptures. (It's been pretty bad recently. I wake up early and go to work, leaving the house at 6:00 am at the latest. I haven't made it a habit recently to read my scriptures in the morning, and then I don't get to them later. Then, in my Gospel Doctrine class, I know I don't have as much to contribute because I haven't done enough studying.) Anyway, we hear things repeated because we often haven't obeyed yet.

4. There are other people listening who haven't heard it yet. So many people are only hearing the restored Gospel for the first time. We can be patient as they are enlightened by glorious truth, particularly since it's still good for us.

5. Repetition reinforces ideas. Truth ought to be reinforced in our lives (especially to counteract the falsehoods that come to us over and over again).

Beyond that, we actually do hear some new things in General Conference sometimes, and it can be thrilling. I should give a list of my favorite conference talks some time.

Last thoughts for now:
It's okay to hear a good thing again. Heavenly Father knows what He's doing.